My 2015

On this last day of 2015, I feel rather old.

I wonder how many of my peers have gone through as many ups and downs (in terms of career especially) as I have. I look at their Facebook updates and LinkedIn profiles, and see that many of them seem to be doing pretty well for themselves.

Me? Well. I've had 3 jobs just this year alone: leaving the civil service in April after working there for 1 year, a brief stint in a place where I quickly realized that the environment was terrible, and my internship at a PR agency that did not work out. I sometimes think of my peers who have a few years of work experiences under their belts already and feel envious.

I don't think I am a loser compared to them though. While some folks might be aghast at my, ahem, job promiscuity, I believe the twists and turns in my career path have made me a strong hustler. Perhaps it is not such a bad thing to fail several times early in my young adult life. I am now used to the sting of rejections. Change does not really faze me. I feel at ease with networking with people in my field and related fields. The vicissitudes I faced in my career and life were not easy to handle but all of them brought me here today: a tougher and sharper hustler.

I expect to continue hustling in 2016, with the main aim of establishing my career in a particular field. I will also make a conscious effort to cultivate other areas in my life e.g. social, health, finances. I know that awesome and wonderful things await me, and that I just have to strive for them.

Here's wishing y'all a Happy New Year!

Job Hustling: Back to Full-On Hustle

Back in July this year, I wrote about clinching an internship with a PR agency a couple of months after leaving my civil service job. I mentioned that if successful, I would be hired as a full-time staff and I was determined to make that happen.

Well. I was not successful.

It was not a question of competence (or lack thereof). I know that I have what it takes to work in PR, and have some concrete achievements from my internship to speak off. These include: mostly holding the fort for one account while my supervisor gave more attention to other more "important" accounts, getting widespread press coverage for said account and exceeding the target PR value, getting a full-page interview for a client in one of the key national newspapers, cranking out about 10 detailed business proposals despite never having met any of the prospects before etc. Sure, given the major career change, I faced some challenges but definitely nothing serious and I always made sure to adapt fast as well as keep up with industry trends. Yet, to cut a long story short, my achievements were downplayed while my shortcomings were exaggerated. The last straw was when my ex-boss made the stupid mistake of arguing with one of the key service providers, severing ties with them and then dumped the difficult task of cleaning up his mess on my shoulders. I realized that I was under-valued and my hard work was taken for granted (for so cheaply too, as my intern pay was measly). There was no choice but to tender my resignation.

While all that happened was unfortunate, I really do not wish to dwell on the unpleasantness and focus on forging my career. Success, after all, is the best revenge ;) Also, for all the crap I endured, I have to acknowledge that I did learn a great deal of very useful transferable skills from my highly experienced ex-colleagues and that I received lots of exposure to many facets of the business. I'll just take the knowledge and learning experiences with me somewhere else. In the end, I actually left the agency on a good note. I focused on the positive aspects of my whole agency experience and thanked my ex-boss and ex-colleagues for teaching me so much. They in turn thanked me and even organized a small farewell lunch. I guess one key lesson to be learnt from all this is the importance of leaving on a good note, or at the very least, a neutral one. I am glad I managed to keep it as graceful as possible and not burn any bridges.

That's all in the past for me. At present, it is nearly the end of 2015, and I find myself unemployed once again. I'm done with the wrenching self-doubt phase of dealing with my situation, although feelings of frustration and fear still crop up every now and then. I want to move on, get a new job that plays to my strengths and forge a career in the PR (or PR-related) field. Interestingly, I am not as worried about my current situation as compared to when I was job-searching after I left the civil service. The main differences are that I am now wiser and more skilled, and more importantly, I never stopped growing and nurturing a network of contacts in the PR field even when I was working in my old agency.

So it's back to full-on hustle and I am raring to go. There will be updates on how the hustle goes and I will definitely be resuming my series on effective hustling. Stay tuned, dear reader, and stay strong :)

Until we meet again soon

About a year ago, we had an argument about my being in love with him. At one point, he remarked, "You should go find some other nicer guy. You'll have no problems finding a guy, you're attractive..."

I flinched a little, and snapped "You're just being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"No, I am not. And don't take me wrong, telling you that you are attractive is not to say that I have feelings for you." He replied.

I mulled over this a little. "So what you are saying is, objectively speaking, I am attractive."

"Yes." He said.

We sorted out the argument eventually, and remained friends.

In June this year, I met up with T for the first time in months. We had a good time catching up over lunch. Just before we parted, I managed to muster the courage to say, "Wait, there's something that I've been wanting to tell you for a while."

"What is it?" He asked.

"I don't know if you still remember this, but sometime towards the end of last year, you told me I was attractive." I said.

"I remember." He replied. That took me by surprise.

"Well, I 'd just like to say, thank you." I said. "All my life, I've been told by countless people that I am cute. Whatever that means. Sometimes, people tell me that I am pretty. But no one has ever told me that I am attractive."

He smiled a little. "Don't they all mean the same thing? Oh, wait, 'cute' is different from 'pretty' and 'attractive'..."

"Thank you, anyway." I grinned, and patted him on the shoulder, before we parted ways.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should have said a little more that day. Maybe ask if he still thinks I am attractive. Maybe tell him that he, too, is attractive even after all these months. Then, I realize that leaving on that good note was probably the best thing to do. Take it slow. Don't rush things that were carefully rebuilt over time.

I'll see you around again, T.

And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon; 
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot; 
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again; 
Though lovers be lost love shall not; 
And death shall have no dominion.

From "And Death Shall have No Dominion", by Dylan Thomas

I'm back from Hong Kong. I never thought I'd return to Hong Kong again so soon after my recent trip this year, but I had to. My Grandpa (more affectionately known as "Gramps") passed away in the wee hours of 5 October, so we returned to Hong Kong over the weekend and Monday for the funeral and wake.

Before we went to Hong Kong, I volunteered to read the poem "And Death Shall have No Dominion" by famous Welsh poet Dylan Thomas for the eulogy. I'm normally quite nervous about public speaking actually. The last time I ever recited a poem before an audience was when I attended Speech and Drama lessons during my primary school days. This time, however, I volunteered readily to be my family's "unofficial spokesperson" and recite a poem that would represent our thoughts about our beloved Gramps' passing. I chose "And Death Shall have No Dominion" because it struck a chord in me the first time I read it during the week of national mourning when Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away.

I am glad I did. I felt just a bit nervous when I stood behind the podium and made my short introduction, but the nervousness melted away as I recited. Thomas's poem is a thoroughly beautiful piece that evokes vivid imagery in a romantic kind of way, while paying tribute to the victory of life and the human spirit over death. This is truly what my family and I hope for Gramps. Up until the onset of his dementia and the subsequent deterioration of his mental and physical health a few years ago, Gramps had been a gentle and kindly man who was a beloved part of my brother's childhood and mine. To say that the deterioration of his health left him a shadow of his former self was an understatement. He shrunk to a bony figure who I could barely recognized and who could not recognize me or my family at all. When he passed away this month, my Ma kept saying that it must have been a relief for him to be finally free from suffering. We like to think that Gramps is in a better place now, a happy place where he has "stars at elbow and foot" and where death, pain and suffering have no dominion.

At the end of my recital, I bowed in the direction of Gramps's coffin. In a way, reciting the poem out loud before an audience was like an open affirmation of my belief of the unconquerable nature of the human spirit. There was a brief moment later at the cremation site, when I faltered and desperately thought "Is this truly farewell, now?" as I watched the coffin bearing Gramps moving into the cremator. I quickly murmured to myself "Though lovers be lost love shall not, and death shall have no dominion" as Gramps slowly disappeared from view. It was a truly meaningful poem, like a talisman we hold against our hearts in the face of sadness and loss.

My family and I stepped out into the sunlight and took the bus back to the city in silence and with a sense of closure.

Aftermath: Of Expectations and Realities

The very first election rally I attended was a Workers' Party rally. WP, regarded as the strongest opposition party in the Singapore political scene, is well-known for the massive and enthusiastic turnouts at its election rallies. Tens of thousands of people not just from WP-held constituencies would cover entire fields; a formidable sight to behold if seen from a bird's eye view.

I was one such attendee that day. WP was not contesting in my constituency so I had to travel all the way to the east just to attend their rally. I do not consider myself a staunch WP supporter, just a first time voter who agreed with some of their ideas and wanted to experience their rallies for myself. I found myself among folks from all walks of life, many either wearing the party blue or toting toy hammers (the party symbol), in a field surrounded by public flats. The crowd was just as thick and vibrant as the news so often portrayed.

People exploded into cheers upon the arrival of some WP veterans, as if they were rock stars. The veterans wasted no time introducing new candidates. The crowd listened as the candidates made their introductory speeches, punctuating their speeches with roars of laughter at their witty remarks or loud boos whenever the ruling People's Action Party was criticized. The candidates themselves spoke with aplomb, eloquence and even a slight hint of swag. One candidate, Mr Gurmit Singh, jibed "Some of our senior PAP politicians are still scratching their heads, not knowing why Singaporeans are so angry with them." Touching his bald head, he continued "Maybe if they shave their heads bald, they can scratch better!" The crowd chortled, clapped and tooted horns. I left after Singh's speech, impressed by the energy and sheer size of WP's support. This party is definitely a force to be reckoned with, I thought. So did many others. It was widely believed that WP would make further inroads into parliament and increase the possibility of a two-party political system.

Little did so many of us realize that we would be the ones scratching our heads in shock when the Polling Day results were finally announced. Confidence turned into confusion and then into shock, as people nationwide tuning into the live coverage of the announcement of sample count results saw that the PAP was leading by substantial margins in almost every constituency. We remained glued to the TV, waiting to see if the final vote counts would differ much from the sample vote counts. The night of September 11 made way for the wee hours of September 12. Finally, at about 3 a.m, the unbelievable was confirmed: there was an unexpected and significant swing of votes in favor of PAP. PAP won 69.9% of the national vote share, a vastly improved 9 percentage point increase from a historic low of 60.1% share of votes during the 2011 elections. The 9 opposition parties were beaten substantially at almost every constituency they contested in.

WP? It kept its stronghold of Hougang but not by a large margin, very nearly lost Aljunied to a group of rookie PAP candidates and lost Punggol East to the PAP.

It was a turn in history all right. Just not the one that many, even the PAP, was expecting.

The aftermath: That little patch of blue on the eastern side of Singapore is the area won by WP.

**********

If there is one lesson from this election that was delivered as sharp as a slap, it would have to be that expectations and realities can be so vastly different.

Over the past few days, a variety of reasons have been suggested to explain both the unexpected swing in PAP's favor and the significant drop in votes experienced by all opposition parties. Here's my take:

It starts with fear. Not fear of the PAP, but fear of life without it. My best mate and I were discussing the election results the other day and she pointed out that most Singaporeans had lived their whole lives with the PAP as the government (PAP has been in power for more than 5 decades). Sure, Singaporeans grumble and complain and criticize the PAP a lot, but even at the nadir of its popularity with the masses, the PAP still returned to power with 60.1% of the national vote share in 2011. Whether we like to admit it or not, the PAP has been a major influence (for good and bad) in the development of Singapore society, starting from those tumultuous post-independence years to the thoroughly modern present that is the envy of so many other countries.

Singaporeans are also generally risk-averse. People do want change ... just not too radically. The 2011 elections saw WP keeping its Hougang stronghold, wresting Aljunied from a team of 5 PAP politicians that included the then-foreign minister, and gaining a total of 6 seats in parliament. WP later gained 1 more seat after the 2013 by-election in Punggol East. Given how much progress WP had been making over recent years, it was easy to believe that they'd make even more significant inroads this election. Indeed, WP's rallies (and to a lesser extent, the Singapore Democratic Party's rallies) had impressive turnouts. At some point, some folks must have gotten a tad nervous about WP's and the other opposition parties' rise. What if these guys became too successful this election? Indeed, before Polling Day, I did hear of people warning one another to be careful with their votes.

In the end, perhaps it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't. PAP's governance may be controversial at times, but on the municipal level the town facilities generally run quite smoothly and efficiently while on the national level the economy is generally strong. On top of that, the PAP has seen Singapore through its growth as a nation and been in power for so long that few can imagine life with significantly less PAP influence. A lot of people appreciate this stability associated with PAP. My Ma told me many people her age highly value a stable life to grow old and raise their families, so they would vote for PAP even if they have some grouses. This group is therefore less likely to buy abstract ideas like the importance of greater political representation because such things were never high on their list of priorities anyway.

So, why the massive displays of support for WP and a few other opposition parties, if people prefer to stick with PAP? Many commentators believe that for all the enthusiastic displays of support at the opposition rallies, perhaps opposition supporters are just the vocal minority. I am not very convinced of the vocal minority theory. First, it is hard to quantify a minority/ majority. The massive crowds turning up at the opposition rallies meant diddly squat in the end, because the large numbers did not translate into actual votes when they mattered the most! Secondly, how do you qualify support? Is a "real" opposition party supporter one who faithfully attends rallies, reads the party manifesto and helps with campaigning? How about those people who diss PAP online and profusely express their admiration for the opposition a.k.a the "keyboard warriors"? If I believe in the idea of greater political diversity in parliament but do not dislike PAP per se, do I count? Nuances, nuances, nuances.

Certainly, people today are more open about supporting non-PAP parties than in the past. People used to be afraid that voting for the opposition or being openly associated with them would negatively affect their careers or opportunities in life. This perception is less common these days. The opposition parties were even able to capitalize on the general unhappiness towards government policies during the 2011 elections and garner more support.

Where I believe many opposition parties, especially WP, slipped up this election is that they bit off more than they could chew. They forgot the Singapore psyche: strong preference for stability, risk-averse and never truly knowing a life with no or very little PAP influence. WP in particular sought to establish itself more strongly in parliament. There was so much buzz about WP expanding its presence in the eastern part of Singapore: they had their eyes on Fengshan and East Coast so these were hyped up in the media as the fights to watch. Some WP veterans even spoke of forming an alternative government in the future. The realities of the election results brought those ambitions crashing down hard: Fengshan and East Coast were not such tough fights and PAP won by comfortable margins. The tough fight really happened in Aljunied, where a PAP 'B' team of rookie candidates dubbed the "suicide squad" very nearly wrested Aljunied from the hands of WP's battle-hardened leaders. In the end, WP chairperson Sylvia Lim acknowledged in a post-election interview that perhaps the majority of Singaporeans preferred the PAP as government, resulting in a push back against the strong contest put up by the opposition parties.

A scene from Prime Minister Lee's lunchtime rally. My first time at a PAP rally.

**********

This election exposed a great gap between people's expectations and the realities on the ground.No doubt there'd be a great deal of soul-searching for both camps, especially WP. It will be interesting to see how PAP, the opposition parties and Singapore society as a whole evolves from here.

(Photo credit: Map of electoral constituencies taken from Mothership.sg, photo of PAP rally taken by me)

Elections hustling!

Hustling is happening with great fervor on a national scale here in Singapore - it's General Elections 2015 season!

I am particularly excited about this election because it will be the first time I exercise my right to vote. First time voter or veteran voter or not voting at all, it is hard not to get caught up in the flurry of walkabouts, rallies and debates. It has been a colorful week of campaigning so far with candidates of various party hues (10 different ones to be exact) pounding the grounds of hawker centers and void decks as well as the online arena hard. 

The campaign period is over as of today and tomorrow's Cooling-Off Day. No political campaigning is allowed on this day as it is meant to "give voters some time to reflect rationally on issues raised during the election before going to the polls". This amuses me a little because voters' minds could already have been made up before the official election campaigning period i.e. they have their own worldviews. Seth Godin, author of the popular marketing book All Marketers are Liars, defined worldviews as the underlying beliefs and judgments that influence people's behavior that already exist before an encounter with something being marketed to them. 

In my case, I am a great believer in the importance of political diversity. Political discourse should not be dominated by a single party and views ought to be debated in a public arena before a decision is made. It might be a messy process but better to have a policy that was passed after a baptism of fiery debate, rather than one that is rammed down people's throats supposedly because it is good for them but later found to be flawed. 

So, despite the plentiful promises and  accusations fighting for my attention this election, certain messages are a lot more likely to appeal to me than others. If you are familiar with Singapore politics, you might be able to guess who I'm more likely to vote for ;)

Anyway, here are some photos taken at different election rallies I attended. This being my maiden voting experience, I wanted to hear as many parties as I could, even if I had already pretty much made up my mind. What better way to get a feel of a party and the kind of support it has than to immerse yourself in a rally?

Hammer time! Workers' Party rallies usually attract massive, enthusiastic crowds. I traveled all the way to the Eastern part of Singapore just to experience a Workers' Party rally

Just a People's Action Party supporter with funky sunglasses and his buddy Lee Kuan Yew, at the lunchtime rally yesterday. This was also my first time seeing the Prime Minister in the flesh and hearing him speak.

In case you were wondering if it is ever possible to change a person's worldview, certainly! It can take a long time though and if it is an entrenched social worldview, perhaps even decades of continuous education (think of how long it took before it became acceptable for women to go out and work side by side men instead of taking care of their homes and kids). I guess the lesson for election hustling is that if you want to win over those who do not share your worldview, you need to be determined to work the ground for a long time before you win more folks over.

Photo credit: All photos taken by me

A Short Trip to Hong Kong

So, I thought I'd take a break from talking about job hustling, and share a little about a recent short family trip to Hong Kong.

Hong Kong is the the place beyond Singapore that I most frequently visit. It's mainly because of familial ties: my father is a born-and-bred Hong Konger (he is a Singapore citizen now) and his parents still live there. We visit my grandparents about once every year or two years.

You'd think that I'd be super familiar with Hong Kong after countless visits, but nope, I am afraid I only know just a tad more than your average tourist. I can't even speak fluent Cantonese, just a few random words and phrases. Still, I consider Hong Kong a second home of sorts, given my blood ties to the city and the fact that I am a Hong Kong PR. I always looks forward to every visit to Hong Kong and hope to do a work stint there someday.

This year's trip was a pretty short one but we still managed to have loads of fun! Like Singapore, Hong Kong is a modern and highly urbanized city with tall buildings everywhere. Its CBD is also situated by the sea:

The ferry terminal near Hong Kong station.

Despite being really modern, there are still pockets of rusticity within Hong Kong. We visited the little village of Tai O, located in Lantau Island, for the first time. It is a stark contrast to the bustling metropolis that comes to mind when people normally think of Hong Kong:

The little village of Tai O, AKA Venice of the East. Reminds me more of Penang, actually.

There's not much to do in tiny little Tai O, except strolling along the sea, exploring the rustic neighborhood, visiting the markets and eating delicious street food. A particularly popular street food stall in Tai O, and one that I definitely recommend, is this place run by a cool dude in shades who makes Hong Kong style egg waffles over a charcoal stove:

Most shops in Hong Kong make egg waffles with an electric grill pan. This dude does it the old school way!

Speaking of food! Every time we visit Hong Kong, my family and I always have fun trying all kinds of delicious Hong Kong food. My ideal traditional Hong Kong breakfast is either dim sum with my family, or a bowl of Hong-Kong style Congee and Zha Liang (dough fritters wrapped in rice sheet) on the side:

I love Zha Liang! This delicious Zha Liang is sold at a popular Congee shop in the Fortress Hill neighborhood called Congee Wonderland.

For lunch or dinner, I recommend a bowl of Prawn Wanton Noodles at Mak Siu Kee (Traditional) Wonton Noodle. They have several outlets in various parts of Hong Kong, but we have only tried the Fortress Hill outlet. This is their specialty Prawn Wonton Noodle:

On this trip, I learnt that one of the special ingredients used to make the Prawn Wonton Noodles savory is dried prawn roe.

Finally, if it is desserts that you crave, pop in one of the several Hui Lau Shan outlets all over Hong Kong! Hui Lau Shan specializes in desserts made using fruits (particularly mangoes):

Beat the hot and humid Hong Kong summer with cold fruity desserts! 

Hong Kong will always have a special place in my heart (and stomach :P). I thought I had seen most of it already. but Dad said that we have not covered some of the small islands as well as the New Territories area yet. Excellent, plenty to look forward to for the next trip!

Image credit: All photos were taken by me.

Job Hustling: An Update

Remember I mentioned in my previous post that I managed to get an interview with a PR firm despite having absolutely no prior PR experiences?

Well, the interview was successful and I began work last Monday.

I'd love to tell more about how I managed to clinch my PR job, but that deserves a post of its own, so not today folks. For now, I'd just like to say that I am glad I took the courage to take the plunge into the world of PR. PR is no walk in the park, but I am enjoying it on the whole ;)

Looking back, I was unemployed for just a short period of time: a little more than 2 months. At that time, though, there was so much uncertainty and I wondered many times how long it would take before I'd find a job. Not just any job, but one that I am qualified for and that plays to my strengths, at the very least. Finding a job was so hard given the increased competition in the Singapore job market and the fact that I did not have much concrete work experiences as a recent graduate. It all seems like a different world now.

The hustle does not end though. This job is actually an internship, and if I am good enough, the firm would hire me as a full-time staff. So I am still hustling, albeit a different hustle, this time to prove myself in the world of PR. I do hope to forge a career in PR or PR-related fields so I am determined to overcome the learning curve that lies ahead of me.

Therefore, I will continue to blog about hustling. I still have some stories from my job hustling days that I want to share and I'd also love to talk about my ongoing experience in making the transition from civil service to PR. I believe hustling is an extremely crucial life skill that deserves a lot more attention. For now, I'd just like to let you guys out there know that I have finally gotten my unemployed ass out of my house and am working my ass off once again :P

Now, if you excuse me, I have media monitoring training early tomorrow morning that I need to prepare for!

Job Hustling: Don't be a Lone Wolf Hustler

Welcome to the second entry in my series on job hunting hustling. If you missed out on the first entry, here it is.

As I ponder over what to write for my second entry on job hustling, I am listening to the opening theme song of one of my favorite series ever: Game of Thrones.

(Pardon the digression, but I am really more into the book series than the TV series. The former is a lot richer in detail!)

Ah, Game of Thrones, the series that is essentially about hustle albeit hustle taken to extreme lengths. In the hopes of planting an arse on a spiky metal chair throne, all kinds of devious plots are hatched and copious amounts of blood are shed. "Trust no one" Littlefinger warned Ned Stark in book 1, before betraying Stark a few chapters later with an apologetic smile (and we know how that ended for Stark). Yet, despite the highly charged and extremely deadly political situation in the world of Westeros, genuine friendships do bloom (think Brienne and Jaime) and acts of kindness and love (think Jon and Ygritte) do happen.

Back to job hustling. The job market can feel a little like the battleground of Westeros, what with loads of candidates competing for coveted jobs and some people resorting to dubious tactics like lying, forgery and sleeping around to get ahead. It's hardly a level playing field either; people getting employed due to their familial ties is not something unheard of. All's fair in love, war and job hunting eh? I'm definitely thankful summoning monsters and dark sorcery do not come into the picture of the real world! Given the competitive job market, what is the best way to hustle and get ahead (without doing anything unethical of course)?

Network. Tap into your existing network and find ways to expand it. It may be a dog-eat-dog world out there, but you cannot be too proud to ask around for help when you need it and be ready to reciprocate to the people who helped you. Remember, friendships, love and kindness are not extinct even in the hostile world of Westeros. Heck, it is often what keeps many of the characters (still) alive!

Why is networking important? Because it is usually not just what you know that matters, but who you know as well. Did you know, for instance, that more than half of job vacancies are unadvertised? Would it not be great if you just happen to know someone in a particular field you are interested in who could give you a heads up on any opportunities and perhaps vouch for you as well? My own job hustle, while not successful yet, would never have come this far if not for the leads I received from folks I know who either happen to be in fields I am interested in or know other people in such fields. Knowing people is especially important if you are trying to break into a new field. For instance, one of the fields I am interested in is PR, but I do not know any PR professionals within my network. Recently, I did manage to get an interview with a PR firm (the story of how I managed to pull that off successfully despite no PR experiences whatsoever shall be shared another day ;) ). Through talking to the interviewers (PR professionals themselves who are enthusiastic about their field), as well as visiting the office, I gained loads of insight from people who lived and breathed the profession. I plan to meet more PR folks through an upcoming networking event this month. Even if there are no job opportunities available, I can still learn a lot about the industry: upcoming trends, skills in demand, what hiring managers look out for etc.

You may not always get the leads you want from within your network (you might have to expand your network to get those leads). Don't let that stop you from even trying though, as awkward as it may be to ask for help. Pretty much everyone I turned to for help has offered support and advice in one way or another. One friend, a Japanese gal I have known since my first semester in university, tried to help me land a job in PriceWaterhouseCoopers 's Singapore office. She got her current role in PWC's Japan office through a referral from a friend, so she offered to help me out by asking her Japanese colleague based in PWC's Singapore office to forward my CV and interest to the Singapore hiring managers. Unfortunately, her colleague was unable to help as she did not know the relevant hiring managers. Nevertheless, I'm grateful to my buddy in Japan for trying to help me out by asking on my behalf, all the way from Japan. It's support and encouragement like this that keeps me going through my darkest hustling days. Remember, though, that while people usually like to help, they don't like to be used! I make it a point to thank every one who has helped me so far, and when I finally get a job, I'd thank them again!

Don't be a lone wolf hustler. Trust me, it is not productive and if things do not work in your favor for a long time, you will end up with this bitter me-against-the-world feeling that can turn you into a soddy douchebag. Kind of like Viserys Targaryen. And we know what happened to Viserys Targaryen in the end. So, don't be too shy or too proud, seek help from your network and be kind in turn!

Image by BeAware8 from here

Job Hustling: The Hustle

So, it has been more than 2 months since I left my job in the civil service. 

I am still unemployed.

Oh, I've applied to many jobs, even before the day I officially left. I never heard back from most of the places I applied to. Some have progressed to the next stage of the hiring process, and have resulted in either rejections or are still pending. I actually did manage to clinch a contract job, only to have to leave in about a week because it turned out to be a big mistake.

I could turn this post (or subsequent posts) into a rant about how the competition for jobs is tougher these days, the sting of being rejected or the disorienting feeling of being unemployed. All of which are pretty legit. Some days, I just want to throw my hands in the air, yell "fuck it!" and just give up.

Yet, somehow, in the end, I just soldier on.

I decided that I'd rather talk about the things I have learnt while job hunting. One of the most important things I have come to realize is that the job hunting process is essentially a journey of self-discovery. It is a search for one's professional identity, one's place in the working world. I also find myself having to be brave and step out of my comfort zone, because job hunting involves putting myself out there to compete with other similarly (or even better) qualified candidates for those coveted jobs.

That brings me to the title I used for this post: job hustling. As opposed to job hunting.

The first time I came across the concept of hustling was when I watched the movie American Hustle a few years back. Though I did enjoy the hilarious parts, I did not really get the whole point of the movie or why so many reviewers were making a big deal out of it. Fast forward to 2015. I visited a couple of friends, who are older and wiser than I, and told them I left my old organization. They were surprised, and somewhere further down the conversation, they brought up American Hustle. I said I did not really get the movie. They incredulously  exclaimed that the movie was popular because it was essentially about the art of hustling. People in real life hustle to survive and chase their dreams, and the movie explores the motivations and desires that drive people to hustle in various ways. "Errr, I thought hustling meant to do things illegally?" I asked. Nay, according to my friends. There is a more essential meaning to the word "hustle", one that my friends struggled to pin down exactly so they described it simply as being "able to get things done". I was still bemused and asked for an example. "Say, you are an event organizer who wants to pull off a successful event. Your rival has invited a few celebrities to turn up at their event. Despite knowing that these celebrities have been invited already, how do you convince them to come to your event instead?" I didn't really know what to say to that. Before I left, they emphasized that the secret to a successful job hunt (and any endeavor in life) is to know how to hustle. I spent my journey back home Googling American Hustle reviews to find out more.

I understand a lot better now. Hustling really is about the ability to get things done. It is about the desire and motivation to chase dreams. It is about being bold enough to step outside one's comfort zone. It is about survival in a tough world where working hard alone, contrary to conventional wisdom, actually does not always get you very far.

So, while I am still unemployed and have quite a bit of free time on my hands, I figured I'd share more on my hustle to seek my professional identity. See, loads of job search advice out there come from the pros: career coaches, counselors, recruiters, HR managers etc. How often do you hear from the job hunter himself/ herself? Well, this job hunter hustler has about 8 months (from before I clinched my first job out of university) plus the current 2 months of experience, and I have learnt a lot along the way. Some lessons were learnt the hard way, while others were gained through talking to lots of people. I don't have all the answers to help or advise people (hey, I haven't even found a job yet!) but at least I can share my learning experiences.

Tune in again soon, folks, for more job hustling stories. Peace out!

Image from EPIC Inspirational Quotes

Happy birthday :D

EIGHT YEAR OLD ME IS SO CUTE AND SWEET !!!

Still am :P

Happy birthday kid, keep smiling that goofy megawatt smile. Years later, people will tell you that they remember you for it. So stay smiley :D

Goodbye (for now), civil service

Okay, this may come as a big surprise, but I'm no longer with the civil service.

Yep, that was a pretty short stint, considering that I got the job just about a year ago.

I'm not going to explain in detail why I left as it's a long and fairly complicated story. Let's just put it this way: while there were some issues, I left the organization on a good note and I enjoyed my time there on the whole. I would have stayed on a little longer if I could, the folks there were generally nice and I did learn a lot, but it was time for me to move on. So, I left.

Leaving wasn't easy though. I think the hardest part was giving up my public service card on my last day. I had been a civil servant for about year and had gotten used to thinking of myself as one, so to have to give up this symbol of the civil/ public service felt like having to let go of a particular aspect of my identity. Ah well. I can be sentimental like that.

I wouldn't rule out returning to the civil service again. I like its ethos of "service, integrity and excellence" and having worked there for a year, I have gained a greater appreciation for the thousands of men and women who help to keep the country running. But now that I am about to embark on a new start in life, I'd like to explore other industries and professions too. Perhaps do a career switch. It's a vast unknown out there, but full of possibilities too. I am young. I am not married yet. I have no major commitments holding me back. There's no better time to climb the rope from the well to the stars than now.

A short tribute to Coke, the good bloke

Our Mini Schnauzer, Coke, passed away peacefully this evening.

He was 14.5 years old.

This photo, taken by my best mate, shows Coke as how I want to remember him: a happy and mild-mannered bloke. He was like that most of his long life (Mini Schnauzers generally have a life span of 12 to 14 years), until recently when old age and illness weakened him. He took a sudden turn for the worse a week ago. I was there till the end.

Rest in peace, my good bloke Coke, you are free from pain and in a better place now.

We love you.

When Mr Lee passed away

Mr Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's First Prime Minister, passed away at about 3 am on Monday morning.

I received the news of his passing about 5 hours after it happened, while getting ready to go to work. It was not entirely surprising. Mr Lee was already very old and had been ill for some time; recent news on his condition had seemed more and more dire. Still, it was a shock to know that the man who had been such an integral figure in Singapore's modern history, is truly gone.

The atmosphere that morning in the civil service organization where I work was quieter and heavier than usual. I deliberately wore black to work as I was in no mood to dress colorfully that morning, and noticed quite a few of the ladies at work in black too. A fellow public servant from a statutory board that my department worked closely with emailed me to comment that the atmosphere at her office was somber too. The whole nation, in fact, was in mourning. I checked the news online regularly and there was a constant outpouring of tributes, grief and condolences from within and outside Singapore. The state broadcaster had changed its red and white corporate colors to white and black. Mainstream television featured a continuous stream of documentaries commemorating Mr Lee and his significant contributions to Singapore. This was the beginning of the official one week of national mourning that our Prime Minister (who is also Mr Lee's eldest son) declared.

Life had to go on however. At work, it was the usual emails, case investigations, meetings and engagements. Come lunchtime, though, my colleagues and I would talk about Mr Lee, the tributes and commemorations happening all over Singapore. A topic that was frequently discussed was the queue of colossal proportions formed by Singaporeans wanting to pay their last respects to Mr Lee after he was brought to the Parliament House to lie in state. Nothing like it had ever been seen in Singapore before. The queue was several kilometers long and waiting could be up to about 8 hours long depending on what time you arrived to queue. Tens of thousands of Singaporeans remained undaunted though and were willing to brave the queue just to pay their last respects to our major founding father. When they finally reached Mr Lee, people were told to bow and then file past quickly so as to make way for the tens and thousands of others queuing behind. But there were folks who lingered a little longer to kowtow, salute, cry and pray. It was amazing.

My family and I did not queue up. We were willing to pay our last respects and queue for a few hours, but 8 hours was just too daunting. I paid tribute in my own small ways. At work, I wrote a simple tribute in the condolences book and attended an internal reflections session to commemorate Mr Lee. I recall a male colleague sitting next to me at the session who burst into tears when talking about Mr Lee's contributions and I awkwardly reached out to pat him on the shoulder. It was my first time seeing a man cry in front of me. At home, my Ma and I visited the nearest community tribute center to pay our respects. It was quite crowded with people of all ages. There was a corner where an immense pile of cards, flowers and condolences messages were piled up in front of portraits of Mr Lee. I bowed three times along with others, uttered a quiet thank you to Mr Lee and wrote a couple of tributes.

Today is the last day of national mourning. It rained heavily just before the state funeral procession began at 12.30 pm. That still did not stop the procession from embarking on a long and wet travel from the Parliament House to the University Cultural Center. Nor did it stop thousands of Singaporeans who turned up along the route to wave Singapore flags, cheer "Lee Kuan Yew!" and throw flowers at the cortege. We watched the procession and the funeral service live on TV. Eulogies were delivered before guests from Singapore and about 20 other nations. The most poignant moment for me was when the lone bugler played "The Last Post" towards the end of the service. A very fitting tribute to the man who worked so hard for his country for most of his life. The service ended with the national pledge and anthem.

My family and I were not done with saying our goodbyes yet though. Upper Thomson Road, which was the road the cortege would use to travel to Mandai Crematorium, happened to be near our house. Many others were there as well to say their final goodbyes to Mr Lee. The roads were slowly cleared by the police until only police cars, police motorbikes and other authorized vehicles remained. When the cortege finally arrived, there were cheers of "Lee Kuan Yew!", flags waving and camera phones whipped out. I wanted to be fully present in that moment so I simply waved my Singapore flag and kept an eye out for the gun carriage carrying Mr Lee. Soon enough, for a few seconds, it was right before me. Mr Lee's coffin, draped with the Singapore flag, in a glass case at the back of the gun carriage. I may not have queued with the tens and thousands of others but I did see Mr Lee in the end. I said a quiet thank you and good bye as he went right by. Then, just as quickly as he arrived, he was gone. I am very glad I got to say a final thank you and goodbye to Mr Lee.

I am writing this to remember a somber moment in Singapore's modern history, from my own point of view. I am sad about Mr Lee's passing. He is, after all, an integral architect in the development of modern Singapore. However, I cannot say that I grieve for him, because I have never known him deeply and personally enough to mourn. I was not of the generation that lived through the same tumultuous years after the war and post-independence as Mr Lee. Nor did I grow up along with Singapore as it transformed from a third world country to the glittering modern metropolis it is today. Mr Lee was the significant founding father who I learnt about in history classes, read about in various media and saw on television. Mr Lee therefore did not mean as deeply and personally to me as some of the older folks who went to great lengths just to be able to pay their respects to "Old Lee".

What is Mr Lee to me then? An inspiration. From what I have learnt about him via secondary sources and the parts of his memoir I have read, Mr Lee is a visionary leader who fought long and hard for all that he believed in. I respect his and his colleagues' tenacity and grit in building a nation from scratch against all odds. I am touched by the stories I heard of his dedication to his country. Most of all, I admire his eloquence and his ability to speak with such conviction. While I do not agree with everything he said or did, I do like the way he stands by his beliefs and puts them across with such passion. I do wish I could have met him while he was still alive and hear him speak with his characteristic fieriness, there is a lot that I could learn from him about the art of persuasion.

I think the best way to remember Mr Lee is to embody his forward looking, never-say-die fighting spirit. Mr Lee did in fact have some words of wisdom for young people like me. Among the many inspirational quotes attributed to him that have been shared all over the media, this one spoke most directly to me: 

“Thirty years ago, my colleagues, younger and more dreamy eyed, settled the words of our pledge. We did not focus our minds on our navels or we would have missed the rainbow in the sky. We pursued that rainbow and that was how we came to build today’s Singapore ... For the young, let me tell you the sky has turned brighter. There’s a glorious rainbow that beckons those with the spirit of adventure. And there are rich findings at the end of the rainbow. To the young and to the not-so-old, I say, look at that horizon, follow that rainbow, go ride it." 

Rest in peace, Mr Lee. I know I've said this many times already, but thank you. I am going to go forth and chase after some rainbows.

Till I am ready

I ran into T on the way home from work earlier this month.

It was the most random encounter. That evening, I took the wrong bus and ended up in the Bugis area instead of Boon Keng. As I made my way towards Bugis station, I saw a familiar face among the crowd. Mmmm, looks like T, I sleepily thought to myself. A second look jolted me out of my tired state. It really was T! Panic, joy, surprise. I managed to get a grip on myself and called out his name. He stopped in his tracks.

T was with a mate of his, a really nice lady who I met briefly last year. She recognized me too. Both were just as amazed to run into me as I was. The first thing T said was something like how he did not expect to meet me in Bugis as my office was further away. I sheepishly told him that I took the wrong bus. He laughed and said that I should have asked the bus driver for a refund of the bus fare. We caught up a little on how I had been doing since we last spoke. He asked if I was still having that trouble I had with my bosses late last year, and was glad when I told him that things were better now. Unfortunately, I was unable to stay long to chat with T and his mate. The conversation was about 10 mins because I needed to rush home for dinner. So I didn't get to ask T much on how he was doing. I remarked that he had cut his hair shorter, and he laughed sheepishly. He definitely sounded better than when we last spoke over the phone in December last year; he sounded stressed and tired back then. It had been about three months since we last met and he looks well now too. Still boyishly handsome.

On the train home, I relished our sudden encounter. It was, admittedly, rather awkward. Neither of us had expected to run into each other just a month after we last spoke. The randomness of the meeting reminded me of how we first met; back then we also happened to be at the right place at the right time. I think that the awkwardness did not just come from the randomness of the encounter, but also the mutual, unspoken knowledge of what happened between us last year. T's mate's presence helped to diffuse the awkwardness a little. Though I do believe that if not for her being around, my conversation with T would have been more heartfelt.

I told my best mate about my encounter with T and she asked an important question: how did I feel after that random encounter about meeting T again. I truthfully answered that as of now, I did not feel ready to have a one-on-one meeting with him very soon. I might need a few more months because I felt that I needed to be better myself first before  I could see him again. This was because the last time we met about three months ago, I was still feeling insecure about myself and how I related to other people, which was one reason why we ended up arguing. I wanted to avoid something like that happening again. Even though I am doing much better now than  last year, I realized that there are still some lingering vulnerabilities  and I need some more time to heal. I need to develop more self-love and self-compassion. I need more confidence and swag to deal with the challenges that life throws at me. Ultimately, I must care and love myself first, before I can properly care and love others.

I am very happy that I got a chance to meet T again this month. Despite the awkwardness, we could still laugh and have a happy, lighthearted conversation. It made me realize how much I miss him and still care for him. I would very much love another chance to have a meeting with him again, preferably one-on-one. First, though, I need to work on developing a better self.