On the Cusp of a Brand New Year

2013 wasn't really my year to be honest.

Oh, the first half was generally pretty good. I got a top grade for my Honours degree, graduated, then did some travelling in Europe and Asia. So far so good.

 

However, the second half gave me grief on several occasions. Let's just say there were difficult personal struggles that bogged me down: some relationship issues, the passing of a loved one and the so far unsuccessful job hunt. It wasn't entirely bad, though, because what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. I feel like I've grown so much tougher, wiser and sure of myself by the end of this year.

So, I look forward to the new beginnings 2014 will bring. I was down but I'm certainly not out and I'm raring to go. If 2013 was the year I struggled, then 2014 shall be the year I rise above those struggles and soar. How am I so sure of this? 2014 is the Year of the Horse, and the Horse is my Zodiac sign. 2014 is MY year :)

Watch me now.

Peace out, everyone, and I wish you all a very happy new year!

Wake Me Up When It's All Over

I wonder if Avicii had me in mind when they wrote their hit song Wake Me Up (see lyrics here). It's not often that a song strikes a chord in me because it accurately  and poignantly reflects my current state of mind. Wake Me Up is one of those rare songs that I find myself being able to relate to almost every line.

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

When you've been job - hunting for a few months and haven't got an offer yet, you end up doing a lot of soul - searching. I discussed the cycle of ups and downs I underwent while job - hunting in my last post. Now I realize the reason why this job - hunt hasn't been easy for me is because I'm transitioning from the world of academia, which I've known most of my life as a student, to the 'real' working world. It's a big change, and I have to grow up and learn fast in order to get to where I want to be.

But where exactly do I want to be?

And, how do I get there?

 They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

I did have an idea what sort of jobs and what industries I'd like to work in before I graduated, and I did pick up skills and  work experiences that would be useful. Getting the jobs I'm interested in has not been easy though, mainly due to the competition from fellow job-seekers, my status as a fresh graduate and the fact that year - end period tends to be a lull on the recruitment front.

I have little choice but to re-evaluate my expectations and aspirations. This involves tackling fundamental questions like who I am and what do I want in life, and I'm still struggling to find concrete answers to these big questions.

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I
Didn't know I was lost


It just struck me that perhaps the only way to find the answers to these questions is to not ponder about it too much now but keep moving forward in life and discover them slowly along the way. No one grows up in an instant after all; maturity and wisdom are works in progress.

And I, am a work in progress too, albeit at a somewhat confused stage at this moment.

I can only keep my head up and continue to have faith in myself. Search for possibilities and opportunities, pursue them and learn along the way. Not give up on my dreams so fast but continue to let them inspire me. I'd like to think that I'll get there someday, and the future me who made it will look back across those years of hard work at the present me, shake her head and say with a smile "Don't you worry so much, everything will be all right in the end."

Forward, that's the only way to go.

 

 

Some Nights, and Others

Well, some nights I wish that this all would end
'Cause I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights I always win, I always win...

 

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights I don't know...

 

(Some Nights, by Fun)

I've been quite introspective and broody of late, largely thanks to my job-hunting endeavour.

 

What I really want from a job is to be able to draw upon my strengths and passion for it so that I can make meaningful contributions. Ideally, it would be in International Relations as this is a field that I really enjoy studying, and would like some real working experience in. I realize of course that if I limited myself solely to just International Relations jobs, my choices would be pretty limited. Therefore, I'm keeping an open mind about other kinds of work that at least fulfil the above-mentioned three criteria, especially media communications, policy-making and research related work. So far so good, I can at least articulate what kind of job I'm looking for.

 

The hard part that I've yet to overcome is getting that kind of job I want. I've sent a number of applications so far: many have not succeeded, a number are still in process, and even fewer have resulted in interviews (which ended with me not making the cut). I know this is perfectly normal and that fresh graduates normally take several months to land their first jobs. I also know that I am a generally all-rounded individual with good academic qualifications from a good university plus some work experiences that has armed me with useful and transferable working skills. Furthermore, I know that I'm not currently in dire financial straights and need a job immediately, so I can afford to be patient with the job search.

 

Yet I can't shake off the feeling that this is taking a bit too long. What frustrates me in particular is that I haven't been called up to many interviews, which means that most of my applications reached a dead end at the resume submission stage. I had at least expected to be able to proceed to the interviews given that my CV highlights some pretty impressive achievements relevant to what I apply for and that I make good effort to write well-thought cover letters. So where are the interviews and job offers?!

 

Being in a situation like this is a big test of my faith in myself. Some nights, I feel absolutely pathetic and wonder if I am just not as good as other people after all. Other nights, I scold myself for having such a defeatist attitude, and focus instead on the aspects of the job search I have control over e.g. my strategies, expectations and the way I market myself. I swing between these two extremes quite a lot these days. If not for the support of my family and friends, as well as the fact that I am currently preoccupied with this short contract job that an organization I once did a stint with was kind enough to offer, I think I would've just snapped and lost my mind.

 

I go back to square one a lot. I ask myself again the question of what I want out of a job, this time by casting it in terms of long-term goals. What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Ultimately, I still seek beyond. I still can't quite articulate clearly what it means to go beyond so for now I'll just vaguely define it as a vision of going beyond my comfort zone and exploring the world around me. Despite this rough definition, it is still something I can work towards, even if it means taking a longer career path.

 

My career path towards that vision of beyond will have to start somewhere though. It helps to have some criteria that influence the jobs I seek: play to my strengths, have a passion for and make valuable contributions. I continue with the job search with these in mind, send my applications, wait for replies, agonize, do some soul-searching and pick myself up in order to move forward.

 

The cycle then starts all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

The Long Goodbye (2)

Someday, I'm sure you will realize the potential within you. You'll find the path that you're meant to take, go down far, and accomplish so much.

I believe in you. I want to see you become the best you can ever be. I sincerely hope you will find the happiness and satisfaction that has eluded you for some time already.

That is why, it is better if we just let each other go.

Oh, it hurts so. My heart aches with a longing that is not possible to realize and the tears keep flowing. You embraced me, held me and comforted me but I wished for more.

Yet I stand by the decision.

I want you to the great man I know you'll be, the great man I see inside. I cannot allow myself to be the one who holds you back.

So, go, run down your chosen path. Run, achieve, and don't let me get in the way. Run and soar!

Don't you worry about me. I have my own path to seek, my own dreams to chase, my own potential to realize. Beyond beckons and I don't think I can take you with me either.

We know it is the right thing to do. It's especially hard for me, but I do understand that it is better for both of us this way.

We will be strong and work hard and attain our dreams. We will keep in touch on how we're doing along the way. Perhaps, our paths will converge some day.

This must be what it means to love, if you're willing to let someone go because you care more about their own happiness than yours.

The Long Goodbye (1)

"All over again I understood how important, how irreplaceable, Sumire was to me. In her own special way she'd kept me tethered to the world. As I talked to her and read her stories, my mind quietly expanded, and I could see things I'd never seen before. Without even trying, we grew close. Like a pair of young lovers undressing in front of each other, Sumire and I had exposed our hearts to one another, an experience I'd never have with anyone else, anywhere. We cherished what we had together, though we never put into words how very precious it was."

From Sputnik Sweetheart, by Haruki Murakami



You're leaving soon. I knew you eventually would (after all, you've been planning it for months already), but I've gotten used to your being here for so long that now that you're about to go, it just seems so abrupt. It makes me sad to know that you're really leaving. It makes me even sadder to know that the next time we meet might be a long time away. So, before our lives go separate ways, I've sought you out one more time to say a long goodbye.

You and I are about to start new chapters in our lives: you're off to university and I'm off to find work. I understand the uncertainty and anxiousness you no doubt feel, because I've been in that situation before, and I'm in it again (albeit in a different context). I enjoyed my time as a student  in Australia for so long that I'm still trying to re-establish myself even though I've been back here in Singapore for a while. What's more, I'm making that transition from being a student to being a working adult. It is a tad frightening to be honest and searching for a job that suits me isn't exactly a walk in the park. However, I'm going to face all this bravely. You told me once, quoting from our favourite Song of Ice and Fire book series, that "summer is ending and winter is coming" i.e. the comfort zone that we know of is receding and we need to prepare for the challenges that are coming our way. Well, I'm going to tell you that despite my uncertainties about what the future might bring, I'm going to be tough as nails and sure of myself. I still have dreams to chase and while the end goal may or may not be anywhere within reach right now, I'm going to work towards it slowly.

What's all this about me that has got to do with you? I guess essentially I want to say that I empathize with your uncertainties about what the future might bring and to tell you that I believe in you. You told me once that you didn't like yourself much right now because you are bogged down by personal problems and are all too aware of your unfulfilled potential. I know you have your reasons for your broodiness, and I don't understand the full complexity of the issues you face, but I really do believe in you. I have never met anyone else who is so committed to a quest of self-actualization, so determined to find a place for himself in this world, despite all the major challenges life threw your way. The others can say all they like but I just know that you'll make it. If I can survive this (and thrive too), then you surely can, so don't you worry. I'm not saying this because I'm being nice, I truly feel that way. Yes, summer is ending and winter is coming, but you've been though darker winters before, haven't you?  To borrow another Song of Ice and Fire quote, "what is dead may never die, but rises again harder and stronger".

I will miss you. Perhaps you just see me as a friend with whom you are comfortable talking about all kinds of things with. Well, okay, but don't you assume that I feel exactly the same. It's true that we've known each other many years and that we only became closer not too long ago, but for me, you're now one of my closest friends. The fact that we've stayed in touch for years and can still talk freely with each other despite long periods of absence shows that you're not just any friend. You are one of the few people I can be perfectly honest with and open up to. I wonder if you are aware that you have opened up to me too, quite a number of times, though there are some things that you keep to yourself.

"We cherished what we had together, though we never put into words how very precious it was."

Sometimes our feelings about something are so complex that they are so difficult to describe accurately. I have done my best to capture the essence of how I feel about you and the preciousness of our time together in words, words that I'm going to tell you before you leave. Thank you for agreeing to hear me out. I know we will meet again some day, but when exactly neither of us can say, as life is already pulling us in different directions. Perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about loosing you, for we've kept in touch so long despite us leading different lives and will continue doing so. I can take some comfort in that. Before you go, however, there are loose ends to tie up between you and I. I need to declare my belief in you, confess how much you mean to me and hug you one more time. It'll be a long goodbye.

The Fifth Trip to Japan: Some Tips for Traveling Free and Easy around the Land of the Rising Sun

Back in December 2012, I wrote a long and detailed post about my fourth holiday in Japan (see here), and ended the post with "Japan will always be one of my favourite countries to visit. Sayonara, for now, I will surely be back again to visit when I can!".

Well, to think that "when I can" turned out to be only about 5 months later! This time, it wasn't just for the purpose of holiday, but for participating in a conference on human development held a week ago in Hiroshima. I was one of the selected poster presenters and my father himself signed up to do a presentation. Much as I'd love to, we couldn't stay very long in Japan as Dad needed to return to work, so we were there for only about 4 days.

The conference turned out to be a memorable and fun experience for me. It was my very first time presenting my academic work (my Honours thesis, actually) to other academics. I was quite nervous initially about how others would receive my work but was pleasantly surprised by the larger-than-expected crowd that gathered at my poster. It was quite fun fielding questions and a few participants even told me that my topic was an interesting one! Not bad at all, for my very first presentation (and an overseas one at that)!

Anyway, having visited Japan five times already (and looking forward to any subsequent visits), I thought I'd share some tips about travelling around Japan. Here, my main focus will be on travelling around Hiroshima prefecture as I just returned from this region so everything is still pretty fresh in my head. Dad and I had 2 full days to unwind and explore Hiroshima prefecture after the conference. Having visited Hiroshima prefecture with Mum last year, I was already fairly familiar with this area so I was able to travel independently with Dad to places I visited before as well as some other new places I did not get to visit last year. One of the things I like about travelling in Japan is that it is not difficult. Also, there is so much to eat, see and explore along the way!

Use Public Transport

The Hiroden arriving at Hakushima station, which is the district our hotel was located in.

In Hiroshima city, a very popular mode of public transport is the Hiroden, the streetcar that has been in use for decades. I like the Hiroden as it is punctual, regular, takes me to many of the main places of interest and inexpensive. Using the Hiroden is also easy to figure out. The streetcar map provides a really good bilingual visual guide of where each place of interest and district is located, as well as which streetcar routes to take to get there. Boarding the streetcar is a simple matter of hopping on and then paying the fare to the driver when you get off (how much you pay is easily worked out by referring to the streetcar map, or you can look at the signboard above the driver's seat which tells you how much you need to pay when alighting at various destinations).

Outside of Hiroshima, I recall that getting around Kyoto was pretty easy too. In Kyoto, the public buses have announcements in English, Japanese, Mandarin and Korean to tell you the current stop and the next one, as well as the current location of the bus displayed on an electronic route map.

Take the Trains

A bento I had on the shinkansen ride to Narita airport. This bento is special because it features specialty food from various towns within Hiroshima prefecture.

The Shinkansen arriving at Hiroshima train station. Dad and I took the Shinkansen to Narita International Airport the day we left.

Japan has an excellent and reliable train network. The trains connect not just the major cities, but a great many smaller cities and towns in the rural areas as well.

For those travelling independently to many Japanese towns and cities, I strongly recommend buying a JR Pass. The JR Pass allows you to bulk buy 7 days or 14 days worth of travel within Japan and therefore saves you a great deal of money if you travel on your own a lot.

Dad and I did not get a JR Pass for this trip as it was only 4 days. Yet, I do feel a little that it would have been good to get one anyway because we travelled by train to several cities within Hiroshima prefecture and a JR Pass might have helped save a bit of travel expenses.

Language and Communication

In Miyajima, where the famous Itsukushima shrine is located, bilingual signs are common as many international visitors come to visit. This Kakigori (Japanese shaved ice dessert) shop offers about 30 different syrups to go with your cup of shaved ice and has bilingual signs to explain each flavour (Tomato, Sea Salt and Hibiscus flavours, anyone?).

Based on my familiarity with travelling around Japan, I do find that it helps to know some Japanese for interacting with the locals. Not speaking Japanese at all is much less of a problem in big cities like Tokyo or popular tourist spots where bilingual signs are more common and more residents can speak English. However, in the smaller towns and in the countryside, people tend to be able to speak only basic English or not at all. Hiroshima is the capital of Hiroshima prefecture and a fairly big city but in general the locals I've interacted with speak limited English.

My Japanese is basic, in that I am able to recognize and read hiragana, katakana and some kanji. I can also hold a simple conversation in Japanese. Limited though it may be, I found that knowing some Japanese helped a great deal. This is especially so when reading menus. Outside of Tokyo and other major cities, English menus are hard to come by. Being able to understand terms written in hiragana and katakana, coupled with my own ability to read Mandarin and therefore recognize many Kanji characters, was very useful in reading menus written entirely in Japanese and offering no pictures.

Having said that, don't be put off from communicating with the Japanese if you can't speak Japanese. Many Japanese are willing to help in spite of the language barriers. Japanese customer service is truly of a high standard as commonly perceived, so even when there are difficulties in communication, with patience and lots of hand gesturing, things often work out very nicely in the end.


Eat local food!

I've said this in my Japan 2012 post, and I'll say it again: the easiest and most fun way to immerse oneself in local culture is to eat local food. You're in a very enviable position if you find yourself in Japan because different towns and prefectures have their own local specialties, some of them unusual and very delicious! To know what to eat where, one should do some research before visiting. Many towns and prefectures take great pride in their local specialties and emphasize them in order to draw tourists. For example, Hiroshima is famous in Japan for it's Hiroshima-style Okonomiyaki, Oysters and its signature candy souvenir is Momiji Manju (a Maple leaf shaped cake that traditionally contains a red bean paste filling but nowadays has all sorts of fillings put into it). When I stayed in Hiroshima last week, I also found out that Hiroshima prefecture is also famous for its Lemons as well, so Dad and I bought some boxes of Lemon candy souvenirs in addition to the Momiji Manju packages.

If you travel by train a lot, then an easy and inexpensive way to sample some local specialties is to buy a bento box from the train station and eat it on the train. In the Hiroshima prefecture-themed bento box featured earlier, there was a good variety of little bites of foods special to the region: jelly made of local Lemons, deep-fried local Oyster, local Octopus cooked in rice, Sushi topped with local Sardines and my favourite Conger Eel Sushi. So. Good. I enjoyed my bento so much that I saved the pretty bento box cover that was still clean and it now hangs proudly in my bedroom.


Inside the gorgeous Hiroshima prefecture-themed bento. It's not just pretty to look at, more importantly, it is delicious too!

Eating Hiroshima Okonomiyaki at Rei-chan, a Hiroshima Okonomiyaki eatery located on the second floor of the ASSE department store near Hiroshima train station. Sorry to all my friends in the Kansai region, but I actually prefer the Hiroshima-style Okonomiyaki to the more well-known Osaka one.

Of all the local delicacies I've eaten during my travels to Japan, I think Anago Meshi (broiled Conger Eel on rice), a specialty of Miyajima, is my favourite. I enjoyed it so much while in Miyajima last year that I had to eat it again when I visited Miyajima this year. This bowl of Anago Meshi is from Ueno, a famous restaurant specializing in Conger Eel near Miyajima train station that has been around for decades. One word: heavenly. The perfect end to a visit to Miyajima.

The Most Important Travel Tip: Have an Open Mind!

I'll end this post with what I find is the most important travel tip based on my experiences travelling to many countries around the world: be open-minded and humble enough to learn.

Being open-minded means not having an ethnocentric attitude towards the new culture and society. You will just end up alienating yourself and not enjoy your trip. Instead, take the opportunity of being in a new environment to expand your horizons. It's also fun to do as the locals do! Japan was experiencing a heat wave when Dad and I visited last week but we made the best out of the situation by taking the opportunity to follow some of the popular local ways to beat the heat, such as ordering a cup of kakigori (Japanese shaved ice dessert) and eating it on the go.

Being open-minded also means having a willingness to go off the beaten track and explore by oneself. As I've described in this blog post, Japan is not difficult to explore free and easy, which is good news for someone like me who dislikes tours, as I find that tour guides tend to rush their groups from one destination to other or bring them to random places along the way so they can earn some extra commission. On our own, Dad and I could take our time exploring the places we visit and therefore appreciate them more, as well as discover some hidden gems along the way!

After exploring the beautiful seaside town of Onomichi on foot in the blazing summer heat, stumbling upon a café specializing in cold desserts like Sakura Tea House is like stumbling upon an oasis in a dessert! The desserts are excellent too!

Japan is a country that I've been to 5 times already and I'm keen to visit again and again. When you treat each new visit as an adventure and as a chance to learn (and relearn), then each visit will be memorable and enjoyable in its own unique way.

Beyond

I recently travelled all the way up North from Brisbane to a rural little town called Cooroy, located in the Sunshine Coast area, to visit a good friend of mine. He is my senior from my Honours class and we sometimes hang around to chat after lessons. While showing me around the Sunshine Coast area in his car, we talked a lot about our post-thesis futures. My friend is moving to Nagoya, Japan to teach English as a private tutor. I couldn't help but feel so envious. The dude, coming from a place so rural that the train only stops by twice a day and the nearest bus stop is a 1 hour walk away, is going so far beyond his little town to begin a new chapter in his life in a new environment. He admits to being nervous about the move but I know he is looking forward to working in Japan. I want to be like him, going places that are far beyond the familiar, to seek new challenges and adventures.

Many people I've been catching up with here in Brisbane have been asking me about my plans for the future now that I've finished my Honours programme. The main concern now would be getting a job, and this will most likely have to be in Singapore. I love Brisbane and would very much like to work here or somewhere else in Australia, but the reality is that in recent years it is much harder for foreigners to find a job in Australia now that the Australian government has tightened the working visa rules. Furthermore, a lot of the jobs I am interested in working in or are related to my field of study require at least Permanent Residency in order to apply. This leaves me little choice but to return to Singapore to work.

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about returning to Singapore. On the one hand, I look forward to seeing family and friends, as well as eating cheap and good local food. On the other hand, Singapore is small. I don't  just mean small in the geographical sense, but small in the sense that there are many cultural, social and political restrictions on the individual. Ultimately, I think I'm reluctant to leave my peaceful and enjoyable life here in Brisbane to return to the fast-paced Singapore life, having lived here in Australia for almost four years. Four years. Has it really been that long ago when I first came here? And now my time here is coming to an end so ... soon?

Perhaps I shouldn't be looking at things this way. Sure, unlike my good friend, I'm heading home rather than a new country to begin a new chapter in life. I may be returning to the familiar, but I'm going back as a new person. The me today is not the same as the me who first left Singapore for Brisbane four years ago. At the end of my overseas university experience, I find that I am less timid and so much more confident of myself and my abilities. I'm pro-active, and willing to speak up and work hard in order to get what I want.

What I want is a challenging yet fulfilling next chapter in life. After all the adventures I had studying abroad in Brisbane and Leeds, I will never do boring again. I aim to see more of the world, meet people from all over and learn from them, because there is just so much to know and discover. To all this I'm going to have to start somewhere first, and Singapore really isn't a bad place to begin. I'm going to return and begin to prove myself. I'd work for a few years in an industry of my interest, establishing my career, before moving on to the great beyond just like my good friend.

Tomorrow, I will be leaving Brisbane to return to Singapore. I will certainly miss Brisbane very much; it has been a home to me for the past four years. I am also going to miss greatly all the wonderful friends I have made during my four years here. Some of them I will never forget, and will treasure their friendship dearly. We shall keep in touch and someday we will meet again. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the wonderful memories. I shall tuck them away in a special place in my heart, keeping them like a charm to remind myself of the joy, adventures and fulfilment that going beyond my comfort zone can bring.

I may be returning to Singapore, but I shall not be working there for the rest of my life. No, Singapore is just a springboard from which I'll leap towards greater things. I'm ready to come back and take advantage of whatever opportunities I can find back home. I know I can. Beyond beckons, and I'm raring to make my move.

Saying my goodbyes

The last few weeks of each university semester is always the most bittersweet because I always have to say goodbye to good friends who are moving on to new phases of their lives. This semester is especially bittersweet because I'm the one who has completed my Honours thesis and am moving out of Australia very soon.

So, over the past few weeks since I completed my thesis, I have been seeing various people here in Brisbane who are dear to me. We meet up, often for a meal/ tea, talk and reminisce, exchange gifts, and part ways with hugs, handshakes, well-wishes and promises to visit if we ever visit each others' neck of the woods. It's hard and quite sad, especially since some of them are so dear to me, but I'm thankful that we at least got a chance to say our goodbyes.

I am quite touched to find out that I will be dearly missed when I go, even by people who knew me only briefly. The other day, for instance, I visited my favourite candied nut seller at the Jan Powers' farmers' markets held at the Brisbane CBD every Wednesday. She knows me, because I am a (fairly) regular customer who is a fan of her large-sized, well-coated, good quality Macadamias and Almonds. I told her I was going to leave for Singapore very soon and she said she'd miss me dropping by. I ended up buying three big boxes of mixed candied nuts from her to take home and share, and she was so touched she gave me a discount and a complementary small packet of candied Macadamias. We hugged, and after I told her I'd drop by again the next time I visited Brisbane, we parted ways.

My favourite candied nuts seller at the CBD farmers' markets. Her stall name is called 'Aussie Gourmet Treats'.

My FAVOURITE donuts ever come from this company called 'Divine Donuts'. They set up a stall in the CBD on Fridays and another stall at the West End market on Saturdays. I always buy their original donut, a large ring of crisp-outside-and-soft-inside goodness coated in cinnamon sugar, which costs only AUS$4.50 

Aside from meeting up with people, I've also been re-visiting my favourite hangouts and eating my favourite foods. While I was still studying, I told myself that once I finished all my studies, I'd grab some friends and we'd do a graduation trip around Australia or maybe New Zealand as well. Now that I'm done and dusted with my studies and have loads of free time, I find myself reluctant to travel very much. The only travelling I've done so far is further up North to visit a good friend in the Sunshine Coast, and then taking a plane to cross the continent westwards to visit a dear friend in Perth. I don't mind being in Brisbane most of the time. I like it here, and I'm determined to revisit as many favourite places and see as many people here as I can before I go.

A beautiful spring day. This is the Forgan Smith building, probably the largest building in my university

I absolutely love farmers' markets, and one of my favourites here in Brisbane is the West End markets, held at Davies Park in West End suburb every Saturday. I love getting cheap and good fresh produce as well as the abundance of freshly cooked food from all over the world!

 

West End is my most favourite suburb! It's quirky, a vintage haven, offers a variety of international cuisine (particularly Greek and Vietnamese) and has a fabulous farmers' market every Saturday.
 

Glorious, gorgeous Noosa Rocky Road from the Noosa Chocolate Factory. The best Rocky Road ever, and one of my most favourite candies ever. I just bought a large pack to bring home and I strongly recommend this local Queensland Rocky Road as a souvenir.

I have always loved Brisbane, for its not-too-stressful pace of life, great hangouts and lovely people. Now that I'm about to leave, everything and everyone somehow seems more beautiful.

Anime Review: World Premiere of Makoto Shinkai's "Garden of Words"

I've been wanting to review this for a very long time, ever since I first watched Makoto Shinkai's latest film Garden of Words on 28 April this year. Now that my thesis has been completed I can finally get round to doing it! Also, given that the film was just released in Japan about a week ago, this is a good opportunity to discuss the film and why I highly recommend watching it.


I was one of the lucky ones who attended the world premiere of Garden of Words on 28 April. The film was fresh out of Shinkai's studio that day, having been completed only 3 weeks before being screened at the world premiere. The screening was shown at the Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, located at the Gold Coast in Australia, as part of this year's Gold Coast Film Festival. I couldn't have been luckier! I happen to be living in Brisbane, which is about an hour's train ride away from the Gold Coast. 28 April also happened to be my birthday :) It was certainly a very happy birthday as not only was I among the first the view the film, I also got to meet Shinkai himself during the autograph session and shook his hand! All these perks made the highlight of the day even more special. As it turned out, Garden of Words is definitely another masterpiece from Shinkai, one that is best summed up as achingly beautiful.

Shinkai signing my Garden of Words poster at the cinema

(Note: Contains some minor spoilers!)

According to Shinkai, what makes Garden of Words unique is that this film uses the traditional Japanese understanding of love as "lonely sadness" or yearning someone in solitude, instead of the modern notion of love as romance. The use of this concept actually does not make Garden of Words too different from Shinkai's previous works, such as 5cm per Second, Voices of a Distant Star and Children Who Chase Lost Voices, all of which deal with the issue of coping with a distant love. However, Garden of Words differs from these previous films in that it focuses on the coming together of two people driven by their longing for each other instead of lovers who become separated from each other.

The two main characters of Garden of Words first encounter each other at a park during the rainy season in Tokyo. Takao is an aspiring shoemaker who decided to skip school to sketch shoes in the park whenever it rains. Yukino is a mysterious older woman who also decided to skip work to read and drink beer in the park when she feels like it. Both slowly get to know each other, discovering that they look forward to the rain that would bring them together at the park. However, they have difficulties working out their feelings for each other, and with the rainy season drawing to an end, they must quickly deal with the yearning they feel for each other.

The challenge of pulling off a film about how lonely desire draws two lovers together is that the love between the characters needs to be developed at the right pace and their blossoming feelings explored with sufficient depth. I'm happy to report that Shinkai has managed to tackle both aspects very well. This is evident in the care and attention he places on various little details that do not seem significant on their own, and are therefore easily taken for granted, but when taken as a whole are crucial in contributing to the beauty of the overall film.

Take, for instance, Takao's ambition of becoming a shoemaker. During the Question-and-Answer session at the end of the film, Shinkai explained that shoemaking actually plays a role in the deepening relationship between Takao and Yukino. Shoemaking is intimate because people do not normally show their bare feet to strangers. When Yukino removes her shoes and allows Takao to use her feet as a model for the shoes, as seen during the movie trailer, it reflects the growing intimacy between the pair as Takao is permitted to touch a normally private part of a person's body. In fact, making shoes is Takao's way of intimately connecting with other people. Coming from a family broken apart by divorce and living with a mother who is sometimes preoccupied with her younger boyfriend, Takao did not experience much love in his life. He seeks enjoyment in the craft of shoemaking, partly motivated by a childhood memory in which his father, older brother and himself surprised his mother on her birthday with a stunning new pair of shoes.  Ironically, Takao is so caught up in the intimate craft of shoemaking that he is unaware of the people around him, as Yukino observed at one point during the film.


Rain is another significant part of the film that deserves greater appreciation. Shinkai even went as far as to describe rain as a character of the film. Rain was present at many of the significant moments in Takao and Yukino's deepening relationship; it was what first brought Takao and Yukino together at the rain shelter at the beginning of the film and it made their subsequent meetings at the park possible. Rain was therefore central to the love that grew between Takao and Yukino. In a way, Shinkai explained, falling rain is like falling in love: you cannot help it happening.


Finally, one cannot help but marvel at the breathtakingly beautiful art and scenery that characterizes so many of Shinkai's other works. Shinkai mentioned that for this film he improved on his visual art by using a new colouring style. Shinkai's sharp attention to the film's art is reflected in the life-like details of the surroundings its characters are embedded in: the shimmer of the curtains, reflections in the dew drops, the sparkle of the rain and even faint clouds of pollen and dust in the air. At the same time, the dominant use of sky blue and jade green gives the film a lovely dreaminess. The mesmerizing quality of the film's art led the host of the Question-and-Answer segment to joke that the film was "scenery porn". Shinkai chuckled at that and replied that he never thought of his artwork as visual porn, for him, the gorgeous visuals served to enhance the overall film experience. One might argue that such emphasis on the beauty of the film's art may distract from the main story; there is a risk of style over substance in other words. Garden of Words would have fallen into this trap if the development of its story was weak to begin with. However, as described earlier, Shinkai paid careful attention to developing the intimacy between the two main characters that is central to this film. The loveliness and dreaminess of the Garden of Words' art therefore do not distract but reflect the mood of a film that sets out to explore desire.

Shinkai's Garden of Words is truly a work of art, not just in the visual sense, but also in its ability to capture the lonely desire that makes falling in love painful yet beautiful. I would even go as far as to rank it as highly as Shinkai's other widely-lauded film 5cm per Second. Others may disagree with this ranking but  this beautifully crafted film is sure to at least touch one's heart. If the reaction of the audience at the world premiere of Garden of Words is anything to go by, this film would be well-received: at the end of the film, there was a brief silence before a long applause. Shinkai admitted after the film that he was a little worried of how an international audience would react to his new film. "Did you like it?" he asked the audience hesitantly in English. The cheers and second round of applause said it all.

Thesis Submitted!

I wanted to blog about this the day it happened, but was too busy celebrating my freedom and forgot. No matter. On this blog, I hereby officially declare my thesis, 'Stories, Spectacles and Sports: The Politics of Visaulizing the Beijing Olympics protests', SUBMITTED :D

I submitted it a day before the official deadline actually. From my experience, leaving something that important to the last day would be too nerve-racking. This turned out to be a very wise move as the day I made my submission turned out to be a very hectic one full of all sorts of drama. It all begin when I went to print 3 hard copies of my thesis at my university's print centre. A couple of minor screw-ups with the printing occurred, which made me a tad nervous. So I went through each of the 74 pages of each hard copy just to make sure that everything was okay before I got my three copies binded. All the meticulous checking left me only 15 minutes for lunch. I grabbed a bagel, wolfed it down and had about 5 minutes to get to my last tutorial. Then it rained. I opened up my umbrella to prevent my precious copies and I from getting wet and rushed to class but still ended up about 10 minutes late. After class, I tried to submit my 3 hard copies to the Student Enquiries Officer, but she had to leave early and told me to drop by tomorrow to give it to her. So I decided to make the online submission of my thesis but my laptop ran out of power. I headed to the library to use one of the computers to make my online submission. Once I logged on to the school portal, I realized I lost my course profile that I wanted to refer to while making the online submission. Yep. Talk about a series of unfortunate events! I bet even Lemony Snicket wouldn't have been able to think up of all that crap befalling someone. If all these happened on the actual day of submission, I'm sure I would've suffered a mental breakdown.

In the end, there was a happy ending. There wasn't any specific or crucial things to take note of when making the online submission so I went ahead with it on my own. After the online submission, I managed to find my Honours course coordinator and told her that I was unable to pass the Student Enquiries Officer my 3 hard copies. She said that I could submit them to her and she would pass the hard copies to the Student Enquiries Officer the next day. With that, I managed to overcome all the challenges that came my way and completed all official submission requirements one day early! The day ended with me hugging my Honours course coordinator, shaking hands with my thesis supervisor and rushing off to Hamilton suburb to try and catch the sunset as well as have a celebratory dinner plus dessert.

Since I officially completed my Honours programme, life has been such a breeze. I have done a great deal of catching up with my social life, eating out at places I've wanted to visit and re-visit for a long time but didn't have the time to do so as well as indulge in plenty of shopping. This is very likely going to be the last month of my stay in Australia so my plan is to enjoy my remaining time here to the fullest, now that I have completed my Honours programme. There are people to visit and thank, places to revisit and things I want to enjoy while I'm still here. June is going to be an unforgettable month because I'm determined to make it happen!

Reflections on Thesis-Writing: Draft Three and Beyond

I actually enjoy writing my thesis.

 

There, I've said it upfront and point-blank. It's a conclusion I came to couple of days ago, after achieving another milestone in my thesis-writing journey: the submission of the third and final draft of my thesis. Somehow, the intensity and stress of the past few weeks managed to inspire some soul-searching and reflections on thesis-writing. Now that I can finally take a brief breather, it's time to gather all those fragments of thoughts and piece them together into a coherent whole, so that I have something to refer to for those moments of doubt during the remainder of my thesis-writing journey.

 

Some days, everything is smooth-sailing and the words flow freely from my mind to the Word document before me. Other days, all that I learnt, researched and studied become such a frustratingly incoherent mass in my mind that I despair and come close to giving up. Do you know what the most challenging part about thesis-writing is? In my view, it is gathering all your ideas, the theories and concepts you learned and the research you did into an articulate, coherent and concise 16 000 word (NOT as long as it seems) long whole. Only those with true grit and passion need apply.

 

Despite the love-hate relationship, I've come to realize that this thesis means so much to me. It is the most personal and close-to-heart academic endeavour I have ever undertaken. To begin with, this is my thesis. I set out with a puzzle that I hit upon and wanted to investigate, put in a great deal of blood, sweat and tears into the investigation, and eventually came to my own conclusions. Of course, I received a great deal of support, love and feedback from the people around me, without which I would never have made it this far. Otherwise this is an independent study. As my supervisor keeps telling me, I'm in charge. I guess it's therefore natural that I want to succeed in an endeavour that is largely my own undertaking and responsibility. Attaining that First Class Honours is certainly a very attractive goal and a powerful motivation.

 

There is a deeper and more important driving force than the attractiveness of the end goal, however. The thesis-writing journey itself is also highly personal. I wonder if anyone else who has ever written a thesis or is writing one felt that they discovered more of themselves and their abilities in the course of writing? I did, and it was a startling revelation when it struck me how much I have achieved along the way. I used to be pretty weak in the Chinese language subject as a student in Singapore and I once had this Chinese tutor during my primary school days who gave up on me. Here I am today writing a thesis that involves reading and translating Chinese media sources. I used to get really bad grades for the Literature subject when in secondary school and decided not to pursue Literature as an 'O' Level subject as I felt sure I was hopeless at it. Here I am today writing a thesis that involves in-depth discourse and semiotic analyses to examine the visual nature of my sources and the language they are embedded in. I used to get weak grades for the English language subject in secondary school and my mother had to see my teacher to discuss my poor English grades. Here I am today actually writing a full thesis and I have been told several times along the way that I speak and write very well. The point of saying all this is to not toot my own horn, but highlight how thesis-writing brought out abilities and strengths in me that I thought never existed to begin with. Perhaps I'm a late bloomer? Whatever it is, thesis-writing has taught me a lot of myself as much as I have learnt about my topic of interest, making me much more confident in myself now.

 

The thesis-writing journey is coming to an end so soon, and things are actually looking bright. I received feedback on the third draft this afternoon, and my supervisor congratulated me on a job well done, saying that I have made a major improvement from the last draft and only minor tweaks are needed now. He even said that if I like, I could actually turn it into a journal article (after making the necessary tweaks of course)! This has got to be the best feedback I ever received in my life. To hear that my work has improved so much that it is almost journal-worthy makes all those sacrifices worth it, and more importantly, I have renewed faith in myself and my abilities. All that needs to be done now is to stay focused, make the necessary changes and keep believing till the very end.

 

Yes, I really enjoy writing my thesis.

 

 

Second draft submitted, and oh no, it's May already?!

Another milestone in my Honours journey: Today, I finally submitted the second draft of my thesis! Whew, that took quite a while, about 2 months after I submitted my first draft. I couldn't help but take that much time though. In addition to thesis writing, I had to do compulsory coursework as part of my degree requirements. I tried to get as much coursework done as early as possible before May because I wanted to concentrate mostly on my thesis in May. Aside from the demanding thesis and coursework components of my Honours degree, I also started applying for some jobs and a conference. In between all that, I try to have fun by myself or with my friends, because I don't want my final semester to be remembered as one defined solely by my Honours work. This final semester will be one to remember in more ways than one.

So what's the deal about May? Well, the end of the month is The Big Submission. I can't help but feel anxious about it, even though I've been on track with my thesis - writing targets (albeit a little slow). Now that I've got my second draft out of the way, I'm gonna tackle my final coursework assignment while my supervisor reads the second draft, then start working on the third and final draft next week. Yep, it's full steam ahead this month! Stressful as this is going to be, I'll do my very best to keep calm and carry on :) I know I can do this. After all, I'm Singaporean, and I survived the stressful Singapore education system plus three major nation - wide exams back home. I guess you can say I'm a veteran when it comes to academia - related stress already!

For now, I'll just take a deep breath and relax, because tomorrow onwards it's time to really soldier on ......

Birthday

Today's my birthday. I've had great fun celebrating it with friends and on my own today and for the past few days, all while rushing to complete some academic work. The highlight of the celebrations has got to be heading to the Gold Coast on my own this afternoon to catch the world premiere of acclaimed anime film director Makoto Shinkai's latest movie 'The Garden of Words'. This movie deserves a post of its own so for now I'll just say that it's absolutely beautiful and struck an emotional chord within me so I highly recommend it to everyone, anime fan or not. Shinkai himself was an awesome dude, when I met him during the autograph session (yes, he came all the way down to the Gold Coast!), I mentioned that today was my birthday and requested that he write 'happy birthday' to mark the occasion, which he happily obliged and also wished me a happy birthday. Thanks dude, meeting you today and watching your beautiful new film made my birthday very happy indeed :D

Looking back over my life, I'm astounded by how much I have achieved and how much I've grown as a person. Especially since I started university. If you'd told little me that one day I'd go abroad to live and study (twice!), built rich friendships with so many people from around the world and shook hands with an acclaimed film director, she probably wouldn't have quite believe it! Here's to many more fulfilling and memorable years ahead! :D

Enjoying my food

In spite of my really busy and stressful final semester, when it comes to my food, I tend to make a ritual out of it.

For example, this morning I had to finish the last of the Maple Muesli I bought from the weekly city farmers' market as well as some of my favourite deep - purple grapes that I purchased from the West End farmers' markets (I absolutely love shopping at farmers' markets but that will be for another blog post). It was a morning meant to be enjoyed, to begin with. It was raining when I woke up and I enjoy rainy mornings because the rain makes the morning air so fresh and cool and crisp. So I had to have a nice breakfast to go with the lovely morning. I prepared a bowl of milk, and placed the last of my Muesli and some grapes on the side. Then I alternated between eating the Muesli straight from the packaging and eating it mixed up with the milk. The Muesli was good eaten either way, see. Eaten straight allows you to enjoy the crunch of the various nuts and seeds and savour their delicious toasty nuttiness. Eaten with milk softens the rolled oats at bit and allows the oats to absorb some of the creamy milk. Every now and then, I'd pop a few grapes and enjoy the explosion of sweet grape juice as I munch on them. Needless to say, it was an enjoyable breakfast.

Eating is certainly the best part of having food, but I do enjoy the process of making it as well. Take the very popular and delicious Thai green curry for instance. Since last year, when I happened to find out that Kaffir Lime fruits were in season in Brisbane every April and May, I have been buying up those fruits so that I can make green curry paste from scratch. The challenge of getting hold of Kaffir Limes, as well as a few other essential ingredients for the green curry paste, is the most difficult aspect of preparing authentic Thai green curry here in Brisbane. Moreover, it's a laborious process that involves chopping up a big pile of ingredients (some of which are pretty tough to slice, such as the Galangal), and then pounding them into a paste using a mortar - and - pestle (last year I had some help from my housemate's food processor, but she has since moved out, taking her food processor with her). The end result of an extremely flavourful and fragrant curry, more flavourful and fragrant than many green curries I have eaten in cafes and restaurants, make all that hard work so worth it! Plus, because I make a big batch of paste, I can store up the leftover paste in the fridge or freezer for future use. There's more I'd like to say about the tedious but rewarding process of making Thai green curry from scratch, but that will be for another blog post.



Homemade Thai green curry I prepared last week. Delicious!

Much as I enjoy cooking, it is nice to have someone else cook for you for a change. Because of my limited student budget, I go out to eat only about 3 times a week. And when I do, I make sure my calories and money are not wasted on crappy food. I particularly enjoy going to cafes serving modern Australian cuisine for a bite. These cafes, which typically open from early morning to about 3pm in the afternoon, are really popular in Brisbane. Eating breakfast/ brunch/ lunch at these cafes with friends/ family is a favourite local pastime especially during weekends. It's a favourite pastime of mine too. Whenever I visit one for breakfast or lunch, I never rush my meal. I take my time browsing through the menu or the display cabinets, spend my waiting time reading a good book or a magazine, then savour my food slowly and appreciatively when it arrives. It's not just the food, see, but the whole experience of dining out at a lovely café and the collective experience of savouring beautifully prepared and delicious food with my fellow diners. Again, this whole experience of eating out at cafes in Australia deserves a blog post of its own, which will be written another day.




Confit of portabella mushrooms baked with a feta and chorizo crumble - with dill scrambled eggs, smoked tomato compote and rye and onion toast. This is my favourite meal so far from Pablo, a café in Brisbane that I like.

Of course, much as I'd like to, I don't take my time with every meal I eat. I am a busy final year student after all. But when I do, usually when I'm preparing/ eating my favourite foods or when I'm at a café I like, I really try to revel in the whole experience. I think this is my way of "smelling the roses along the way" as I proceed with life. Too often, we rush through life or are so preoccupied with tasks and responsibilities that we fail to truly live life. I should know. I come from Singapore, a society in which stress permeates pretty much every sphere of life. As my university life comes to an end, and the "real world" of working life beckons, I find myself trying to enjoy the simple pleasures of life as much as I can before I take on the slew of responsibilities that come with being a working adult. How often will I get a chance to savour something as basic as breakfast, slowly and lovingly prepare a delicious meal for myself or revel in the comfort of my favourite cafes when I am busy with earning money and supporting myself? I don't know. What I do know is that for now, I am not too busy to enjoy my food, so I'm indulging in simple gastronomic pleasures while I can.

A busy semester ahead

Last Monday, March 11, was a milestone in my thesis - writing journey. I submitted the first fully completed first draft of my thesis *whew!* This being my first draft, I'm sure there'll be plenty of editing to be done and more drafts to be submitted. In fact, I'm gonna see my supervisor later to get some feedback on that first draft.

This final semester is gonna be a really busy one: there's a thesis to complete and coursework as well. I know I have not been updating at all since last year but I don't intend to abndon this blog. Actually, I've plenty to say, it's just that I never got round to writing. But I will try, even though I will have little time to do so over the next few months. There're things I want to record and remember, unique moments in space and time to preserve.

Till then!