Happy Birthday

Hey gal,

Happy birthday from your future 2014 self :D There’re about 20 years separating us, and while I’d love to tell you all the cool stuff that happened in those two decades, I’ll just give you some advice with the benefit of hindsight.

To be brutally honest, the years ahead are gonna be difficult. Right now you think Hillary and Valerie being mean to you in kindergarten is the lousiest thing happening but their bitchiness (don’t repeat that word yet, you’re still too young to swear!) is NOT the worst that can happen. Oh no, you will suffer way more serious battering to your self-esteem in the form of cruel words that cut deep and people who let you down. It gets better after a few years but you will still find it difficult to shake off your social awkwardness. You end up going through an identity crisis of sorts.

Okay, I’m sorry, I hope I haven’t freaked you out. This is where it gets better: you WILL eventually learn to become confident in your own skin. You stop caring so much about what other people think and that is when you begin to truly blossom. You will be excited to know that you will go overseas for university and those years of living abroad independently will not just open your eyes to the world but also help you find yourself.

Where am I, the future you, now? Sorry to disappoint, but you did not become a school principal. I am a civil servant. It’s a dynamic job that involves interacting with lots of people of different backgrounds and I’m in my element here. Yep, lots of people. I know you are still so shy that you dare not order food by yourself because it means having to speak to strangers. Would you believe me if I said that the future you is actually way more extroverted, talks a little too much for her own good and uses a lot of pop culture references in her speech among other quirks? I swear we are the same person!

I don’t mean to say that it will be happily ever after in the end. That’s for the elderly me to say. Honestly, I’m still trying to find my place in this world and sometimes I feel afraid. What I do know, and what I want you to know too, is that you are tougher and more capable than you think so never let yourself be held back. The future looks less scary when you ask yourself what you could do if you were not afraid. The myriad untapped possibilities ahead are something you and I as one person can look forward to.

Happy birthday!

Cheers,

Your 2014 self

Almost Time

I've been spending those precious last few weeks of freedom before I start work enjoying myself as much as possible.

The grand makeover that I described in a previous post is almost complete and it has been great fun transforming so many aspects of myself. Shopping for new clothes, shoes, accessories and makeup was a big part of the overhaul. I also feel relieved to have thrown out lots of old stuff to make way for the new.

When not putting the finishing touches to the grand makeover, I visit my favorite haunts and eating spots. It's not like I'll never be able to go to these places once I start working (there are public holidays and weekends of course), just that I'll have less time to spend there. I don't think I'll be able to linger as long as I like, savoring the atmosphere and vibes, without a care in the world. It's the same with hanging out with my good friends. Work will keep us all busy so we cannot dedicate whole days to each others' company anymore.

I suppose I will miss those halcyon days after I start working. However, having had lots of personal freedom in my hands for many months already, I do look forward to embarking on a new chapter of life next week. All that free time has been very well spent anyway. Aside from the above-mentioned shopping and eating out, I've managed to do a short stint of work, resumed learning Japanese and finally took driving lessons, so it's not like I have much regrets about wasting time.

I am ready and everything is in place. 

Now it's time to spread my wings and soar.