Thesis Submitted!

I wanted to blog about this the day it happened, but was too busy celebrating my freedom and forgot. No matter. On this blog, I hereby officially declare my thesis, 'Stories, Spectacles and Sports: The Politics of Visaulizing the Beijing Olympics protests', SUBMITTED :D

I submitted it a day before the official deadline actually. From my experience, leaving something that important to the last day would be too nerve-racking. This turned out to be a very wise move as the day I made my submission turned out to be a very hectic one full of all sorts of drama. It all begin when I went to print 3 hard copies of my thesis at my university's print centre. A couple of minor screw-ups with the printing occurred, which made me a tad nervous. So I went through each of the 74 pages of each hard copy just to make sure that everything was okay before I got my three copies binded. All the meticulous checking left me only 15 minutes for lunch. I grabbed a bagel, wolfed it down and had about 5 minutes to get to my last tutorial. Then it rained. I opened up my umbrella to prevent my precious copies and I from getting wet and rushed to class but still ended up about 10 minutes late. After class, I tried to submit my 3 hard copies to the Student Enquiries Officer, but she had to leave early and told me to drop by tomorrow to give it to her. So I decided to make the online submission of my thesis but my laptop ran out of power. I headed to the library to use one of the computers to make my online submission. Once I logged on to the school portal, I realized I lost my course profile that I wanted to refer to while making the online submission. Yep. Talk about a series of unfortunate events! I bet even Lemony Snicket wouldn't have been able to think up of all that crap befalling someone. If all these happened on the actual day of submission, I'm sure I would've suffered a mental breakdown.

In the end, there was a happy ending. There wasn't any specific or crucial things to take note of when making the online submission so I went ahead with it on my own. After the online submission, I managed to find my Honours course coordinator and told her that I was unable to pass the Student Enquiries Officer my 3 hard copies. She said that I could submit them to her and she would pass the hard copies to the Student Enquiries Officer the next day. With that, I managed to overcome all the challenges that came my way and completed all official submission requirements one day early! The day ended with me hugging my Honours course coordinator, shaking hands with my thesis supervisor and rushing off to Hamilton suburb to try and catch the sunset as well as have a celebratory dinner plus dessert.

Since I officially completed my Honours programme, life has been such a breeze. I have done a great deal of catching up with my social life, eating out at places I've wanted to visit and re-visit for a long time but didn't have the time to do so as well as indulge in plenty of shopping. This is very likely going to be the last month of my stay in Australia so my plan is to enjoy my remaining time here to the fullest, now that I have completed my Honours programme. There are people to visit and thank, places to revisit and things I want to enjoy while I'm still here. June is going to be an unforgettable month because I'm determined to make it happen!

Reflections on Thesis-Writing: Draft Three and Beyond

I actually enjoy writing my thesis.

 

There, I've said it upfront and point-blank. It's a conclusion I came to couple of days ago, after achieving another milestone in my thesis-writing journey: the submission of the third and final draft of my thesis. Somehow, the intensity and stress of the past few weeks managed to inspire some soul-searching and reflections on thesis-writing. Now that I can finally take a brief breather, it's time to gather all those fragments of thoughts and piece them together into a coherent whole, so that I have something to refer to for those moments of doubt during the remainder of my thesis-writing journey.

 

Some days, everything is smooth-sailing and the words flow freely from my mind to the Word document before me. Other days, all that I learnt, researched and studied become such a frustratingly incoherent mass in my mind that I despair and come close to giving up. Do you know what the most challenging part about thesis-writing is? In my view, it is gathering all your ideas, the theories and concepts you learned and the research you did into an articulate, coherent and concise 16 000 word (NOT as long as it seems) long whole. Only those with true grit and passion need apply.

 

Despite the love-hate relationship, I've come to realize that this thesis means so much to me. It is the most personal and close-to-heart academic endeavour I have ever undertaken. To begin with, this is my thesis. I set out with a puzzle that I hit upon and wanted to investigate, put in a great deal of blood, sweat and tears into the investigation, and eventually came to my own conclusions. Of course, I received a great deal of support, love and feedback from the people around me, without which I would never have made it this far. Otherwise this is an independent study. As my supervisor keeps telling me, I'm in charge. I guess it's therefore natural that I want to succeed in an endeavour that is largely my own undertaking and responsibility. Attaining that First Class Honours is certainly a very attractive goal and a powerful motivation.

 

There is a deeper and more important driving force than the attractiveness of the end goal, however. The thesis-writing journey itself is also highly personal. I wonder if anyone else who has ever written a thesis or is writing one felt that they discovered more of themselves and their abilities in the course of writing? I did, and it was a startling revelation when it struck me how much I have achieved along the way. I used to be pretty weak in the Chinese language subject as a student in Singapore and I once had this Chinese tutor during my primary school days who gave up on me. Here I am today writing a thesis that involves reading and translating Chinese media sources. I used to get really bad grades for the Literature subject when in secondary school and decided not to pursue Literature as an 'O' Level subject as I felt sure I was hopeless at it. Here I am today writing a thesis that involves in-depth discourse and semiotic analyses to examine the visual nature of my sources and the language they are embedded in. I used to get weak grades for the English language subject in secondary school and my mother had to see my teacher to discuss my poor English grades. Here I am today actually writing a full thesis and I have been told several times along the way that I speak and write very well. The point of saying all this is to not toot my own horn, but highlight how thesis-writing brought out abilities and strengths in me that I thought never existed to begin with. Perhaps I'm a late bloomer? Whatever it is, thesis-writing has taught me a lot of myself as much as I have learnt about my topic of interest, making me much more confident in myself now.

 

The thesis-writing journey is coming to an end so soon, and things are actually looking bright. I received feedback on the third draft this afternoon, and my supervisor congratulated me on a job well done, saying that I have made a major improvement from the last draft and only minor tweaks are needed now. He even said that if I like, I could actually turn it into a journal article (after making the necessary tweaks of course)! This has got to be the best feedback I ever received in my life. To hear that my work has improved so much that it is almost journal-worthy makes all those sacrifices worth it, and more importantly, I have renewed faith in myself and my abilities. All that needs to be done now is to stay focused, make the necessary changes and keep believing till the very end.

 

Yes, I really enjoy writing my thesis.

 

 

Second draft submitted, and oh no, it's May already?!

Another milestone in my Honours journey: Today, I finally submitted the second draft of my thesis! Whew, that took quite a while, about 2 months after I submitted my first draft. I couldn't help but take that much time though. In addition to thesis writing, I had to do compulsory coursework as part of my degree requirements. I tried to get as much coursework done as early as possible before May because I wanted to concentrate mostly on my thesis in May. Aside from the demanding thesis and coursework components of my Honours degree, I also started applying for some jobs and a conference. In between all that, I try to have fun by myself or with my friends, because I don't want my final semester to be remembered as one defined solely by my Honours work. This final semester will be one to remember in more ways than one.

So what's the deal about May? Well, the end of the month is The Big Submission. I can't help but feel anxious about it, even though I've been on track with my thesis - writing targets (albeit a little slow). Now that I've got my second draft out of the way, I'm gonna tackle my final coursework assignment while my supervisor reads the second draft, then start working on the third and final draft next week. Yep, it's full steam ahead this month! Stressful as this is going to be, I'll do my very best to keep calm and carry on :) I know I can do this. After all, I'm Singaporean, and I survived the stressful Singapore education system plus three major nation - wide exams back home. I guess you can say I'm a veteran when it comes to academia - related stress already!

For now, I'll just take a deep breath and relax, because tomorrow onwards it's time to really soldier on ......

A busy semester ahead

Last Monday, March 11, was a milestone in my thesis - writing journey. I submitted the first fully completed first draft of my thesis *whew!* This being my first draft, I'm sure there'll be plenty of editing to be done and more drafts to be submitted. In fact, I'm gonna see my supervisor later to get some feedback on that first draft.

This final semester is gonna be a really busy one: there's a thesis to complete and coursework as well. I know I have not been updating at all since last year but I don't intend to abndon this blog. Actually, I've plenty to say, it's just that I never got round to writing. But I will try, even though I will have little time to do so over the next few months. There're things I want to record and remember, unique moments in space and time to preserve.

Till then!

...... and there goes half my Honours year

To think that my last post (yes, it was quite a while ago!) was on graduation and embarking on my Honours programme!

Last Friday was the last day of lessons. For majority of my fellow UQ schoolmates, this week is study break and the coming Saturday would mark the start of the exam period. Not so for me. I submitted my final assignment for the coursework I did this semester on Wednesday, and went for my last day of coursework class on Friday. Honours students in my School don't have to do exams (thank goodness, I've done enough exams to last a lifetime!), so while most of my schoolmates are busy studying hard for their upcoming exams now, I've been indulging in some much-deserved relaxation over the past few days.

That's the thing about being an Honours student and not an undergraduate any more: your academic schedule is pretty different. This was one aspect of Honours that I found a little difficult to adjust to when I first started in July this year. My academic schedule is also different in the sense that I do a lot more independent study. The main feature of the Honours programme is the thesis, which I begin working on from the start of my programme and submit about a year later. Save for the occasional feedback sessions on thesis writing organized by my school, the thesis writing process is driven by me. It is up to me to decide how much time and commitment I want to put into my thesis, how often I want to work on it, seek advice and help if needed, what I want to write about, do my own research etc. Aside from writing my thesis, I also have to do two compulsory Honours courseworks, one for each semester. The coursework takes up about 2 hours of my week, which means the rest of the week is entirely up to me to decide how to spend it. This was pretty new to me at the beginning, because for all my life I was used to having lessons planned for me to attend most weekdays. Now, I am "my own boss", as my thesis supervisor likes to tell me.

Oh well, now that half my Honours programme has been completed, I'm pretty used to this kind of independent study. I also think more like an Honours student, in the sense that I am aware of the wider debates and contexts of my discipline. All thanks to the compulsory course I had to do this semester, which is concerned with the Philosophy of the Social Sciences. It's mind-bogglingly deep, complex and challenging, and occasionally a source of frustration because I was never good with philosophical and abstract concepts to begin with. At the end of it, however, I was proud to be able to go up to my lecturer and tell him that though I still did not understand the nuances and details of some of the debates we learnt about, I did understand the gist of the course as a whole and could see how it was relevant and useful to  myself as an Honours student and the thesis I am working on.

All that's left for now is to focus on my Honours thesis this summer holidays. I have not yet started the 17 000 word journey actually (yep, that's how long my thesis is supposed to be!), because I first had to submit a detailed Statement of Intent and get feedback on it. I've got my feedback already and my supervisor reckons that I'm ready to begin writing. Now if I could just muster the willpower to get started and stop myself from sinking too deeply into the holiday mood ......

Graduation

20th July will be one of those days in my life that I look back upon with immense pride and fondness. It was the day of my graduation, a day that marked a closing of one highly memorable chapter of my life and the start of a new phase that promises to be just as exciting.



The day was highly charged with a mix of emotions. I woke up that morning all excited, nervous and determined to look perfect on my big day. Two hours of fussing over my hair, makeup and clothes later, I was on my way to university accompanied by my parents, looking just as gorgeous and grown-up as I wanted. The first thing I had to do when I arrived was to collect my academic gown, trencher and the pearl-white hood all graduating undergraduates wear. I swear, when I put the full regalia on, I felt utterly transformed. It's hard to describe, but I felt like I had indeed become the mature and confident young woman ready to take on the world that I always aspired to be. The nervousness about going onstage or making embarrassing mistakes was replaced by a cool confidence and fierce pride in myself.


The hours before the ceremony were spent taking many photos of myself and myself with my parents in various parts of the school. It was, most thankfully, a beautiful sunny day with a clear blue sky, perfect for photo-taking. We had fun taking photos, but there was an underlying anxiousness about being there in time at the designated venue for the big ceremony, so we reported half an hour early. My parents and two friends who I invited to attend my graduation then left to find seats in the hall and I went to join my fellow graduates.



We graduates were the stars of the day. We entered the hall in a long procession, and the audience erupted in cheers and flashes of camera lights. So this is what it feels like to be a celebrity, I thought to myself. An opening speech was made, the first batch of students went up to receive their scrolls, the valedictorian gave a speech, the presentation of scrolls resumed and all too soon, it was my turn. This is it, I told myself as I watched by the side of the stage as the person before me received her scroll. Some of the nervousness I felt in the morning returned, but before I knew it, I was walking across the stage towards the Chancellor upon hearing my name being called. We smiled, shook hands, and I received my scroll with both hands and thanks. My moment in the spotlight was over in less than a minute. I then proceeded to a desk at the back of the hall to collect the remaining documents, which included my academic transcript and certificate. On my way back to my seat, I caught sight of my parents and friends smiling and taking photos of me. I beamed and stopped for a moment to show them my scroll and documents. The ceremony ended with a speech by the guest-of-honour, an alumni member. His speech, which was basically about how success is a journey and not a destination, struck a chord in me the most. I could not help but shed a few tears. The graduates then left the hall in a procession, this time with the precious rewards of all those years of studying and learning clutched in our hands. By then, I was overwhelmed with rapture.



I didn't want to remove my full academic regalia. The gown, trencher and hood were all markers of my new status as a graduate, and I felt so mature and sure of myself when I had them on. I spent a long time after the ceremony taking as many photos with my friends and parents as I could, while I was still able to keep on my full academic regalia . I did crazy and playful poses, looked serious for the more formal shots, tossed my trencher into the air and caught it, and reveled in the festivity and joy of that very special day. All too soon, I had to take off my full academic regalia and return it. For a moment, it seemed like the magic of the day had faded a bit. Then my parents suggested we head to a popular cafe in my favourite suburb for an afternoon tea celebration, a suggestion that was well-received.



As we made our way to the cafe, the words from one my favourite songs, 'We Are Young' by the American band Fun and featuring Janelle Monáe, entered my mind:

"Tonight,
we are young.
So let's set the world on fire,
we can burn brighter
than the sun."

Yes, on my graduation day, a fire was lit in me and I shone brightly from within. I am now on the verge of starting a new chapter in my life, my Honours year, and may those flames of passion, pride and confidence continue to burn fiercely from within and propel me through the rest of my life.

June holidays!

Now that I'm completely done with my Bachelor degree, I've been soaking up the sweet, sweet freedom the June holidays bring by chilling out as much as I could.

First, some updates on myself: I will be graduating next week (gasp! so soon!) and am gearing up for the big day. My parents will be coming over from Singapore to be present on this special occasion. Unfortunately, my younger bro is unable to come as he is busy with schoolwork. After graduation, my Honours programme will begin! Yes, I have been informed that I met all the requirements to do my Honours and am looking forward to getting started :D

Meanwhile, I have been enjoying my precious free time as much as I can. Unlike previous holidays, I did not go back to Singapore to visit this time as I felt that it will be better to stay behind to settle the various Honours application stuff. Also, a few good friends of mine are graduating and returning to their home countries for good, and I wanted to spend time with them since we may not meet again. There's not a whole lot to do in Brisbane so I've given myself little projects to do over the holiday. My aim is to pursue my hobbies as much as I can now that I have free time, as I know the Honours programme is going to be a busy one. So far, I've completed Book 1 (Game of Thrones) of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series and the Game of Thrones TV season 1, made Chinese steamed bao and pounded a new batch of Thai green curry paste, kept in touch with some people important to me, caught up with good pals of mine, ate at my favourite eateries and discovered new favourites, did some shopping, resumed manga-drawing and finally got a chance to travel to Melbourne! Yep, life is good, really good!

Keep an eye out for more posts, I'm hoping to blog more about my life in Brisbane :D

Shake it out, shake it out ...

Someday, if I ever get to meet the amazing Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine, I want to thank her for her song 'Shake It Out'. It's one of the most powerful and moving songs ever, and it's basically about shaking out your fears, letting go of your regrets and bravely embracing a new beginning. The song has helped tide me through many dark days of fear, uncertainty and self-doubt.The lyrics (especially the lines "It's always darkest before the dawn" and "It's hard to dance with the devil on your back") and Welch's powerful vocals somehow help to soothe my emotions and make me feel braver.

I began the morning of a brand new week by playing this song aloud on my laptop. This week is significant, because I've two final exams, probably my last school exams ever for the rest of my life. As mentioned in the previous post, I'm applying for my Honours degree, which I hope to begin next semester. These two final exams will count towards my overall grades, which my Faculty will use to assess my final Honours application, so I'm determined to do my best. I've prepared as much as I could for these two exams already, but every now and then I still find myself panicking about them. As always, 'Shake It Out' reminds me to let go of my anxieties and just embrace the exams without fear.

Do have a listen to the video above (lyrics are included). I find that this song resonates most powerfully when played loud while your eyes are closed. 'Shake It Out' is definitely one of my favourite songs and I have a feeling I will continue listening to it for comfort and strength for a long time.

Have a great week everyone, and wish me luck!

Soliloquy on the end of school

Well, it's not exactly the end yet. I still have exams in a couple of weeks' time. Also, should all go well with my Honours application (I sincerely hope so!), I will be commencing my Honours year the following semester. But it is officially the end of lessons here at UQ, and until I receive an official letter from my Faculty confirming my successful Honours application, I can only assume that the 'student' chapter of my life is coming to an end.

Lessons officially ended last week, but till now my mind is still a whirl of thoughts and feelings about The End. I mean, I have been a student nearly all my life, beginning when I first started nursery and till now at the end of my undergraduate studies. While I do have some working and internship experiences, being a student is the only real job I have ever done all these years. So now that I am on the cusp of entering the real working world, I can't help but feel a mix of sadness, nostalgia, fear and excitement.

My Mum likes to tell me that being a student is the best time of one's life. That's because for all the stress homework, exams and tecahers give, coupled with the trials and tribulations that come with growing up, a student's life is still a shelthered one. Most students will depend on their parents to varying degrees for financial support, for one thing. Also, when you're young, people are more forgiving when you make mistakes. Once you become a full-time working adult, there're more responsibilities to take on and expectations of you are raised a notch. For perhaps the first time, you are truly on your own when it comes to supporting yourself.

For me, I feel the pressures of finding a job after I graduate more and more. It just doesn't help that the International Labour Organization recently warned that youth unemployment has become a serious issue worldwide since the Global Financial Crisis. I fear that I too might be one of those millions of qualified, educated but frustrated young people who either cannot find a job or end up being under-employed. The unemployment situation in Singapore isn't as bad as in Europe and USA, but with increased immigration of late the competition for local jobs have intensified. Ideally, I would like to get a job here in Australia as I feel Australia has more opportunities for my areas of study, but so many other international students also want to find a job here, which means greater competition for the permanent residency needed to apply for most Australian jobs. Probing deeper into my fears, I think I am basically afraid of leaving the comfort of student life and entering the uncertain, fast-changing territory of the working world.

I do have my dreams and aspirations, which I have been working very hard to achieve, but in the face of the unknown, there is no guarantees that they will definitely be attained. But I take comfort in the fact that at the end of student life, I have no regrets. I fought for and got to study the subjects I was interested in, my passion for my two main fields of study at university has been nurtured greatly and I have had the privilege of attending wonderful schools and learning under knowledgeable academics. Student life has been stressful, no doubt, but it had also been fun, fulfilling and comforting. I wish I had appreciated this more earlier.

Special mention must go to my University, for it was here at the University of Queensland that I really and truly blossomed academically and as a student. Until I joined UQ, I had only been an average student in Singapore. I worked hard in my studies, but so did everyone else, as that was how you survive the highly competitive education system in Singapore. I did manage to attend a couple of prestigious and popular schools in Singapore, but I wasn't one of their alumni who left with stellar grades and would be featured as 'high-achievers' in school magazines. I never had stellar grades in Singapore. I couldn't even get into the Faculty of Arts of the National University of Singapore because it was so competitive and my 'A' level grades were just decent. All this changed when I was accepted into UQ. At first, I had a big academic culture shock when I started university as the environment, responsibilities and expectations of university students were quite different from what I was used to in Singapore. It took me a few months to get used to everything and settle down. After that initial difficulty, though, everything was mostly smooth-sailing to my surprise. At the end of my first year, I received a Dean's Commendation from the Faculty of Arts. Subsequently, I have received a Dean's Commendation for nearly every semester except the first semester of last year when I went on exchange to the UK. In addition, I managed to go on exchange to the University of Leeds last year and I recently completed an internship at a public sector organization here in Brisbane. I'm still surprised that I achieved so much here as compared to my student days in Singapore, but I believe I can attribute my success to the academic environment of UQ. There is more academic freedom in UQ,  exams are not the be-all and end-all as is often the case with education in Singapore and I got to learn under many academics who are passionate about their areas of expertise. I also received a lot of social, emotional and academic support here at UQ (and from my wonderful parents back home), without which I am sure I would not have achieved as much as I have today.

This is why I so badly want to do my Honours year the following semester. I love studying in UQ, and I have an area of interest I want to pursue more deeply in an Honours thesis. And having studied abroad in two countries, I realize that the world is such a vast place that is uncertain and ever-changing but where there are still opportunities that await. Singapore will always be home to me, but as I have said before in this blog, Singapore is small in more than just the literal sense.

But maybe I need not fear so much what the future brings, for I do have rich and fulfilling school experiences (especially the ones I had in UQ) to speak of that would no doubt be of use when I finally start working. I cannot say with certainty what will happen in the future for me, but no matter what job I take on or wherever in the world I end up working, I have these precious student experiences that have greatly shaped me to become who I am today.

No matter what happens in the future, no one or nothing can ever take away the things I experienced, learned and loved during my student days for they are all in my heart and mind now.

Thank goodness for the mid-semester break!

Because I really needed it, and really deserved it.

If you were wondering about the lack of posts in March, it's because that month was a CRAZY one. One assignment after another, and an internship to juggle with as well. Honestly, I have never been so busy and so stressed out since the times I took my 'O' Levels and 'A' Levels in Singapore. This is without a doubt the busiest semester of my entire undergraduate life (the most relaxed being my study abroad at the University of Leeds). I deserve a medal, for surviving March without falling sick once, though I did nearly go nuts from the stress.

Enough about Mad March now. You can imagine how relieved I was when the mid-semester break finally commenced. Needless to say, I used that precious one week break to chill out as much as I could. I met up with friends I haven't seen for ages, watched The Hunger Games with my housemates, pounded a batch of green curry paste and made an authentic and very flavourful Thai green curry with my neighbours (did I mention that I love cooking?), explored a suburb I have been wanting to visit for so long, shopped, ate out at new eateries and rediscovered old favourite eating spots and resumed reading my Game of Thrones novel. Not bad at all for one week, though there were some things I wanted to do but didn't have time for, like starting a new anime series (last one I watched was, like, a year ago). I did study and do academic work during the holidays of course, but a significant chunk of my holiday was spent recuperating from the madness of March and doing things that I have been putting off for so long because I was too busy.

The second half of semester started on Monday, and already I'm feeling somewhat drained. Yesterday and today was spent completing a good chunk of the admin work needed to apply for my Honours year next semester. This month is pretty relaxed as compared to March actually, because I only have one big assignment due. That's great, because I could finally get started on my Honours application. There's also my birthday to look forward to sometime in end April and I can't wait to take a whole day off on that special day :D

I survived March. If I can do that, and if what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger, then I will surely be able to conquer what remains of April and the major assignment deadlines May will bring.

Here I go!