"All over again I understood how important, how irreplaceable, Sumire was to me. In her own special way she'd kept me tethered to the world. As I talked to her and read her stories, my mind quietly expanded, and I could see things I'd never seen before. Without even trying, we grew close. Like a pair of young lovers undressing in front of each other, Sumire and I had exposed our hearts to one another, an experience I'd never have with anyone else, anywhere. We cherished what we had together, though we never put into words how very precious it was."
From Sputnik Sweetheart, by Haruki Murakami
You're leaving soon. I knew you eventually would (after all, you've been planning it for months already), but I've gotten used to your being here for so long that now that you're about to go, it just seems so abrupt. It makes me sad to know that you're really leaving. It makes me even sadder to know that the next time we meet might be a long time away. So, before our lives go separate ways, I've sought you out one more time to say a long goodbye.
You and I are about to start new chapters in our lives: you're off to university and I'm off to find work. I understand the uncertainty and anxiousness you no doubt feel, because I've been in that situation before, and I'm in it again (albeit in a different context). I enjoyed my time as a student in Australia for so long that I'm still trying to re-establish myself even though I've been back here in Singapore for a while. What's more, I'm making that transition from being a student to being a working adult. It is a tad frightening to be honest and searching for a job that suits me isn't exactly a walk in the park. However, I'm going to face all this bravely. You told me once, quoting from our favourite Song of Ice and Fire book series, that "summer is ending and winter is coming" i.e. the comfort zone that we know of is receding and we need to prepare for the challenges that are coming our way. Well, I'm going to tell you that despite my uncertainties about what the future might bring, I'm going to be tough as nails and sure of myself. I still have dreams to chase and while the end goal may or may not be anywhere within reach right now, I'm going to work towards it slowly.
What's all this about me that has got to do with you? I guess essentially I want to say that I empathize with your uncertainties about what the future might bring and to tell you that I believe in you. You told me once that you didn't like yourself much right now because you are bogged down by personal problems and are all too aware of your unfulfilled potential. I know you have your reasons for your broodiness, and I don't understand the full complexity of the issues you face, but I really do believe in you. I have never met anyone else who is so committed to a quest of self-actualization, so determined to find a place for himself in this world, despite all the major challenges life threw your way. The others can say all they like but I just know that you'll make it. If I can survive this (and thrive too), then you surely can, so don't you worry. I'm not saying this because I'm being nice, I truly feel that way. Yes, summer is ending and winter is coming, but you've been though darker winters before, haven't you? To borrow another Song of Ice and Fire quote, "what is dead may never die, but rises again harder and stronger".
I will miss you. Perhaps you just see me as a friend with whom you are comfortable talking about all kinds of things with. Well, okay, but don't you assume that I feel exactly the same. It's true that we've known each other many years and that we only became closer not too long ago, but for me, you're now one of my closest friends. The fact that we've stayed in touch for years and can still talk freely with each other despite long periods of absence shows that you're not just any friend. You are one of the few people I can be perfectly honest with and open up to. I wonder if you are aware that you have opened up to me too, quite a number of times, though there are some things that you keep to yourself.
"We cherished what we had together, though we never put into words how very precious it was."
Sometimes our feelings about something are so complex that they are so difficult to describe accurately. I have done my best to capture the essence of how I feel about you and the preciousness of our time together in words, words that I'm going to tell you before you leave. Thank you for agreeing to hear me out. I know we will meet again some day, but when exactly neither of us can say, as life is already pulling us in different directions. Perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about loosing you, for we've kept in touch so long despite us leading different lives and will continue doing so. I can take some comfort in that. Before you go, however, there are loose ends to tie up between you and I. I need to declare my belief in you, confess how much you mean to me and hug you one more time. It'll be a long goodbye.
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